This is another installment in my series Then And Now – Managing TBI Issues Over the Long Term
Lots of people with TBI have issues with sleep. They either sleep “too much” or they have trouble falling asleep and/or staying that way. I’m one of those people. After my last TBI, I was awake every morning at 3 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep. What a miserable time that was. I have also had a lot of trouble falling asleep.
Yes, I’ve been struggling with sleep issues for quite some time, and if you’ve come across this blog in the past, chances are you’ve heard me talk about it. I’ve tried everything from homeopathic sleep aids to Benadryl to stretching to progressive relaxation to working myself ragged to forcing myself to go to bed every night at 10 p.m. It’s been a continuous struggle, and I’m pretty sick of it.
Recently, I have started to do things a little differently, and it’s actually helping me to feel more rested and get more sleep. I also don’t walk around with dark circles under my eyes all the time, anymore. For about a year, I was looking pretty ragged at times. But now I think I’ve found something that works for me: breaking up my sleeping patterns with “starter naps”.
Conventional wisdom (at least in my mind) says that you need 8 continuous hours of sleep each night – possibly more – to be fully functional. Studies have shown this, and people have written about it.
But I’ve also come across mentions (primarily not in scientific circles) about sleeping in smaller increments, and getting up in between to do other things — getting no more than 4-5 hours of sleep at a time, but sleeping more frequently.
Now, I don’t think either one actually works 100% for me. The first one is almost impossible for me to do, because of my schedule and work life. The second one definitely would be a problem.
What does work for me, is lying down on the couch later in the evening, but well before when I really want to go to bed, and letting myself take a little nap for an hour or so before I actually go to bed. It probably sounds counter-intuitive, like I’m messing up my sleep schedule, but it’s actually helping me get better rest.
See, when I’m over-tired, I tend to stay up later. In fact, the more tired I am, the harder it is for me to relax and fall asleep. Also, I don’t much care for the idea of going off to bed at 9:30 at night. I really don’t want to – I want to stay up and watch television and hang out with my spouse. And even when I do go to be early, I often wake up early, like around 3 or 4 in the morning, and then I can’t get back to sleep.
So, after dinner, when we’re sitting down to watch a movie, I’ll watch for a while, then I’ll be so tired, and I’ll lie down on the couch where I can watch lying down. Pretty soon, I’ll be asleep, and I’ll rest for maybe an hour or two… sometimes three. When I wake up (say, around 1 a.m.), I still feel tired, and I really feel like going to bed. So, I do.
And I sleep through the night — even till 7:00-7:30 a.m. sometimes, which is new for me, after not being able to sleep past 5:30 for quite some time.
Not only do I get sleep earlier in the evening, but I still manage to get another six hours — which is what I used to get without a “starter nap”.
All in all, I think I’m sleeping more than I have in the past. I’m just doing it in different bits and pieces. The important thing is to not tell myself I’m doing things “wrong”. This works for me, and it’s helping. So, I’m sticking with it as long as it works.
As so many people struggle with sleep, I think it is good that you found a strategy that works for you and also allows you to spend more time with your spouse in the evenings. As far as the best type of viewing prior to sleep, I have heard it said that nature scenes set to soft music are best. Of course, action films can get a person to sound up. Comedies are also found to not being very conducive to good sleep if viewed to late in the evening.
I have a friend who does that. It really works for her. My problem is that my mind keeps going. It wants to stay up long past the ability for my body to function. I am at that point right now actually, and if my regular patterns continue, I’ll probably continue to be like this for a couple more weeks. It’s like I get stressed about something, and worry about it and not sleep until the problems are solved, but then need some time to wind down and de-stress. It takes weeks for my body to recover from all the stress, and with my life, the cycle seems to go on without much of a recuperation period. I have asthma, allergies, fatigue, and frequent colds. I get everything that comes around, so I know it’s not healthy. I feel like I’m in a constant funk. I googled “the more tired I am, the harder it is for me to fall asleep” and found your post. The more I think I want to sleep, the more my brain wants to think, read, write, type, etc.
Ah yes, that would be your sympathetic nervous system telling you lies again. Stress – especially prolonged stress – will get your fight-flight system permamanently stuck in high gear until you’re completely exhausted. And it will rob you of any quality of life in the meantime. I know the feeling well. It may feel like you’re solving problems, but check it out – are you really? I know the feeling you describe very well. But it isn’t true. The fight-flight sympathetic nervous system is not capable of complex thought – the kind of thinking you need to solve problems. In fact, it excels at doing just the opposite – blocking out any complexities that distract it from the most basic ideas. But if you want to really solve your problems, get some sleep. Benadryl works for me – and hospitals use it to help patients sleep. Also, try doing some progressive relaxation – relax your body from tpe to head, one body part at a time. Also, relaxing completely for 15 minutes is the equivalent of 30 minutes of sleep, so you may want to try that. It sounds like your quality of life is really suffering. And you’re stuck in a funk. That’s classic sympathetic nervous system overdrive. To fix your life, you’ll need to fix that.
The first step is learning that the feeling that this is helping you is not true. The second is learning to get good sleep. The third is finding a way to solve your problems without needing the “drug” of high drama all the time. It may make you feel like you’re taking care of business, but trust me – you’re doing just the opposite. I should know. I did it for years.
Good luck. Get some sleep. All the crises will still be around in the morning, and you’ll do a better job of dealing with them if you’re rested.