I just had to say it. This isn’t a bad-attitude, who gives a flying f&ck about whateverthehell I’m supposed to be doing kind of perspective.
I’ve got more of a “serenity prayer” kind of outlook right now — “turning it over” as my friends in recovery love to describe it. It’s not a bad attitude. It’s actually a pretty good one.
I’m looking down a proverbial tunnel at a couple of projects that are going to take me hours to complete today, and I don’t have the kind of time or energy I need to do justice to them all.
So, I’ve decided to just not give a sh*t about the minutiae and all the things I obsess about in great detail, while intending to DO THE RIGHT THING. Those minutiae are often byproducts of my TBI-addled or fatigue-addled sense of over-active hyper-vigilance that drives me to ever greater heights and ever deeper lows.
But when I decide I don’t give a sh*t about the excruciatingly detailed end result, and just dive in and get stuff done, well, things go a whole lot better.
And I feel better too.
It’s hard, sometimes, to know where I’m being reasonable, and where I’m being OCD… but in the end, I just have to trust that my innate love of quality and devotion to doing the right thing, is going to win out in some small way. And I won’t totally screw up, the way I think I’m going to.
Just gotta go on faith, I guess.
Not giving a sh*t is a good attitude sometimes with TBI!
Hey I got a tbi too, It sucks but you got to keep going cause if you don’t who the heck will. You got to care a little and work your ass everyday to change what you can. It’s easy to be bitter bout a lot in life but I think it’s more important to enjoy life then how far you kick the can. Life is about loving other people but you got to love yourself a little too.