Chill
So, I stretched. And I need to do more of that during the course of my days. It doesn’t take much. I just need to remember to do it. Sitting in front of a computer all day tends to be hard on the body.
I’ve got an appointment with my neuropsych this afternoon. Today we’re going to talk more about my eventful childhood in hopes of better understanding some of the gut reactions that slow me down and make my life more difficult than it has to be. My history of pediatric TBI “loaded me up” with a bunch of experiences that have burdened me for many years, and my rigid thinking kind of cemented some self-perceptions in place.
Now I have a chance to turn that around. I don’t want pity, and I don’t want to get too overwrought over things. My NP tends to be good about not riling me up, and when I do get bent out of shape, they’re pretty good about backing off.
Except when they’re not.
But that’s another story.
Anyway, I am asking for help at work with some things I’ve fallen behind on, and that’s a sign of progress. I just realized that this morning — it’s progress, not a sign of failure. Everybody needs help now and then. What makes me so different?
Anyway, I’m trying to get to work at a decent time today. I don’t want to run late like I did yesterday — it gets my day off to a bad start. I’m off to a better start today, than yesterday. I got 5-1/2 hours of sleep last night – up from the 4-1/2 on Sunday night. The relatives coming to visit over the weekend really got me unbalanced, with regard to my schedule and my nervous system, and some things happened last night with my spouse that also got me riled. Not terrible things, just upsetting stories about what happened on their business trip.
So, I’m pretty tired today. And I see my NP this afternoon… and then I have a late meeting at 7:30 p.m. with some colleagues overseas. Fortunately there’s a “quiet room” at work where I can lie down and take a nap if I need one. I did that yesterday, and I woke up feeling 100% better. Well, 85% better… but that’s a hell of a lot better than when I decided I needed a nap.
More progress — I took myself to the quiet room and got 20 minutes of rest, instead of driving myself with caffeine and sugar.
Anyway, time to get going. More to come.
Onward.
Wow! Great progress. It’s hard to ask for help when that has not been one of your character traits. I’m impressed that you are taking care of yourself…looking for quiet areas, taking short naps and arousing feeling 85% better. If it were only 25-50% better that would be progress also. As difficult as this is for you, it needs to be a lifestyle change asking for help and taking care of yourself. Hope your appointment went well. I’m sure the NP will be impressed with your changes.
Thanks… getting there. The appointment with my NP was along those lines — changing how I’ve been doing things and actually asking for help. I finally owned up to certain difficulties that have been really getting in my way, which surprised them because I had not discussed this before. So now I’m kind of starting from scratch on some issues. Making progress… a little more each day… But it really takes it out of me.