My favorite time to change my life

Things are looking up – getting brighter every day

It’s the end of January, and I’m starting to feel like things are moving in the right direction for me, again. This time of year has often had a lot of change associated with it. I have made some of the biggest choices about life changes at the end of January/beginning of February… and I have also had some of the most significant things “just happen” to me — like serious health issues coming to a head, and relationships hitting snags.

Some people would get nervous and pull back. Some people would really think twice before leaving their house. Some folks would probably stay inside and not even look out until well into March, given my history with this time of year.

Seriously — things like winding up homeless on the streets of one of America’s biggest cities… accompanying loved ones to the hospital for extended stays… major job changes… moves across the country… big stuff that not everybody wants to bother with, but I seem to be magically inclined to.

Yes, some people would hold back or find another way to pass the time. As for me, I’d rather tackle it head-on and see what comes of it — see what I can make of it. It’s tax-preparation time. The last of my paperwork should be arriving in my mailbox any day now. Big stuff moving. Big things happening. Skills are getting sharper — I can feel it.

And it’s good.

I spent the morning yesterday (and part of the afternoon) working on a pretty cool skill I really need for my next job change. It came out well. So well, in fact, that I felt confident sharing it with others who do this kind of work. Now it’s out there “in the wild” for all to see and comment on. Hm. We’ll see if anyone notices…

Anyway, even if nobody ever notices and nobody else gets any use out of what I did, I can still use it as an example to explain my approach to people who ask why I do the things I do, and who want to see my technical style. And that’s good for something.

So, things are good. Things are changing. I didn’t get nearly enough sleep last night, but I can always take a nap later today. Flu season really took the wind out of my sails, and I’m still operating at about 85%, best case, but I’m getting there. I’ve been getting up and exercising first thing in the morning, like I used to… and it feels good. Not as crazy-hectic as it used to be — just good.

So, things are changing, and things are looking up. Very much so. I can’t say that I’m overjoyed about how things are going, all around me, but I’ve let go of the stuff I cannot change, and I’m moving on to the things that I can. This working situation has been like a rock in my shoe — it’s not stopping me from moving, but it’s making it awkward and sometimes painful, and it is keeping me from picking up speed. That’s very much how it is – I have no idea, from one day to the next, how it’s going to be, so no sooner do I start getting some momentum, than the rug gets pulled out from under me.

So, rather than cursing this perpetual darkness, I’m lighting a candle. I’m studying. I’m learning. I’m doing. And it’s good.

The days are getting longer, and that means more light. In every way.

This really is my favorite time to change my life.

Onward.

Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

4 thoughts on “My favorite time to change my life”

  1. Thank you. That is just what I needed.

    Now….for a quick set of push-ups, maybe some crunches, and then a short jog around the kitchen as I whip up some biscuits and gravy for myself and the little ones. We’re going to need all the carb-filled energy we can get before attacking some aerobic exercise outdoors at the park today.
    🙂

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  2. Was out of my regular loop for most of January…as I suffered additional health issues and was air evacuated from my home state of South Dakota to Colorado with new brain bleeds. I’m up to 7 spontaneous bleed areas now…and the doctors don’t know why my brain keeps doing this. But I’m back home now, recovering…and just happy to be able to get back into this blogging process again! I am constantly reminded what a truly remarkable organ our brains are!

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