When in doubt… do nothing

I made a terrible mistake on Sunday – I ate some frozen custard. I didn’t have a whole cup — I ate maybe a few tablespoons, max. But it was enough to do some damagen.

To most, it might not seem like that big of a deal, but for me, it’s huge. When I eat dairy, including frozen custard, I tend to have a bad reaction — I get stuffy and croupy, my ears fill with fluid, and my balance gets thrown off to the point where I cannot stand up straight without holding onto something, I cannot turn quickly, and I have a hard time walking in straight lines.

I’ve never had really good balance while moving slowly — I balance better when I’m in motion, the faster the better. I tend to bump into things, run into things, knock things off counters, when I’m moving slowly. But when I have dairy, everything gets that much worse. I’d say three to four times worse. And it comes on me fairly suddenly, a day or two after I eat or drink the dairy. I like to think I can “cheat” now and then – I didn’t have that much custard on Sunday. But then my body puts me in my place, and there ya go…

It’s maddening. The associated nausea sometimes keeps my stomach in knots for days. My head spins and swirls, my body doesn’t even feel like it’s mine, and I start to get really cranky and short-fused with everyone around me. I have a hard time responding to people when they talk to me (first, I can’t understand what they’re saying at first, then I have to ask them to repeat themselves and listen closely to what they say, and then think carefully through my response, which may not even turn out to be the right thing to say). I feel awful about it, but what can I do? All I can really do is rest and drink a lot of fluids and steer clear of any junk food or processed sugar (and definitely dairy)… and make a note of it in my daily minder to track my experience.

So, today, I am staying away from the office. I’ll work from home (and probably get more done here, than I would there, where it’s very noisy and bright and filled with distractions). I am not getting in my car and driving through the rain in heavy traffic, only to arrive wet and behind schedule and bitchy as a wet cat. I’ll put on my music, pull out my to-do list, and have at it. And I’ll take a nap in the afternon, to catch up on my sleep. I was up waaaaay too late last night, doing things I love to do (but sadly not doing them very well), so I need to make up for that.

This is progress for me. Last night, I had fully intended to go into the office today. I knew I was feeling a little off, woozy, wobbly, croupy, etc. But I was determined to soldier on and put in an appearance. I had to show up, I told myself. I “had” to show up.

But y’know what? Appearances aren’t everything. And my boss doesn’t care where I am working, so long as I get my job done. Truth to tell, I don’t have to shop up. And I’m more likely to get my work done at home today, than at the office, so I’m doing them a favor by staying put.

This morning — at last — I realized I’ve got nothing to prove by driving myself through traffic, and if I intend to have a truly productive day, I have no business going into the office. I’m off balance, which makes me more prone to accidents, not to mention crankiness.  Plus, I really need to take a nap this afternoon, and I can’t do that at the office.

Well, enough said. I’m taking the pressure of and giving myself a break. And feeling good about it, which is probably the most important part.