Goal 2: Doing what I plan/promise to do

Now that I am moving into this new job(!) I am really taking a hard look at my habits and patterns of the past several years. Since I fell down the stairs on Thanksgiving weekend of 2004, I have had a dickens of a time following through on what I promise I am going to do.

There are a number of reasons for this:

  1. I neglect to write down what I commit to, and I forget I’ve committed to it.
  2. I get bogged down in the details of doing it, and I end up backing away from the task because all of a sudden it seems so enormous that I cannot begin to tackle it.
  3. I start to doubt myself, and I quickly give up.
  4. I just cannot sustain the attention to follow through.
  5. I don’t build enough accountability into my action plan.

This has got to change. I cannot step into this new role, behaving the way I have been. I have been doing better, on and off, over the past six months, but I still have let a bunch of things drop that I never should have abandoned. That haunts me. And I need to change this behavior.

So, I have started aggressively tracking my behavior each day. I have my notebook, where I track what I do, what the results are, and the reasons why I succeed or fail. And I get my colored highlighters and mark along the edges of the pages to show the nature of my activities — if they were positive experiences that came from positive choices and actions, or if they were negative events that arose from poor decisions and behaviors.

I use green to mark the good stuff, pink (which I hate!) to mark the bad stuff, and orange to mark the in-between stuff.

I mark in the margins of my notebook, so I can see the progression of events — and I can see at what times of day I have problems. I have REAL problems in the early/mid-afternoon. That much is clear.

So, tomorrow I am going to do the really hard stuff first. Get that taken care of, and then do easier things in the afternoon. And I am going to mark down the results of my choices and actions. I’m already seeing results, after doing this for about a week. And if I keep on this track, I am hopeful of getting my act together in ways that have eluded me for a number of years.

Most of all, I’m going to be focusing on advance planning — like they say in the Give Back Orlando material, I am going to plan my next day the night before, when I am relatively fresh and not pressed for time. And I need to get clear in my head up front how I’m going to go through my day, so I can prepare mentally and emotionally for it.

Tomorrow is going to be a challenging day. I can feel it. I’m finishing up work from my old job and navigating my progress into my new position. And I need to keep a steady head and steady hand while I’m at it.

If I screw this up, I just don’t know what I’ll do. So, I’ll do everything in my God-given power to NOT screw it up.

At least I have tools. So I’ll use them.


Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

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