I’ve written before about how ignorance and narrow-mindedness produce greater disability than injuries alone.
TBI related issues like increased distractability, lower thresholds for anger, and sleep disruptions, the cascade of behavioral and logistical effects can create subtle cracks in the foundation of your everyday life, which ultimately compromise your ability to get on with your life in a mature and responsible fashion, even your physical and mental health.
Here’s how you can get into trouble, thanks to a TBI:
- TBIs have a nasty way of slowing down your thought processing speed.
- Sleep disruptions have a nasty way of resulting in increased agitation and distractabilty.
- Increased distractability can lead to “careless mistakes”.
- These can lead to arguments with others.
- Arguments can escalate if your flashpoint threshold is low.
- A low anger flashpoint threshold can become even more explosive if you’re tired and not thinking well.
For example — say a guy with a wife and two kids and a good job is in a car accident and smacks his head against the car window. I’ll call him (Car Accident Guy.) He’s knocked out for a few minutes, and when he comes to, the EMTs take him to hospital, check him out, determine there’s no serious damage, and turn him loose. He goes home and lies down for a while, then the next day he’s up and at ’em again, ready to get on with his life and just relieved he wasn’t hurt worse in the accident.
He seems fine to everyone at home and at work — the only problem is, all of a sudden, he can’t seem to do the simplest things — like going to the store. Or completing a job his boss assigned to him. He keeps getting distracted by the simplest things, and when his wife sends him to the store to pick up milk and bread and his prescription refill, he ends up coming home with milk and eggs and shampoo, instead. In the process, he runs out of his daily dose of blood pressure medication, and his wife is upset, impatient and pissed off at him.
His wife tries to overlook his forgetfulness at first, but after a while, she starts to get pretty fed up with this guy. They quarrel and bicker, and he becomes nastier and nastier when they fight. He takes it out on his kids, too, yelling at them when they do things like turn the t.v. up too loud or come home late for dinner. His wife’s patience gets shorter and shorter, and she feels like she has to double-check everything he does. He used to be so reliable, but now he’s just not trying… What’s wrong with him?
At work, things are getting tougher, too. Car Accident Guy’s boss has been noticing how he’s not delivering results when he promises he will. The reports are late. The analysis is incomplete. And he’s started making stupid mistakes he doesn’t even catch till someone brings them to his attention. Even when folks do show him how he screwed up, he’s contentious and argues about it, and his relationships with his co-workers seems caught in a downward spiral. His boss tries to talk to him, but he can’t seem to sit still in their meetings, and he keeps changing the subject or talking about other stuff that has nothing to do with what they’re there to discuss.
All the while, Car Accident Guy has been missing his daily blood pressure dose, and his BP has been climbing — especially when he’s angry. He seems even more angry than usual, in fact, and his wife finally prevails on him to see his doctor. When he goes to the doctor, his blood pressure is way out of control, and his doc becomes very upset with him for not taking his daily dose. The doc considers him non-compliant and lectures him, and Car Accident Guy takes issue with his tone and snaps back at him. The doc, who has had a long day and isn’t in the mood for this crap, puts him on notice that he’d better clean up his act, or else. Car Accident Guy is immediately sorry for the tone he took with the doctor, and he apologizes and promises to do better. Feeling self-conscious, he tries to listen to the doctor and get what the doc is saying, but he can’t seem to focus, and he loses the piece about needing to schedule a stress test in six weeks. He takes the new BP med prescription from his doctor and puts it in his shirt pocket — but he’s distracted by what the doc is saying to him, so he isn’t actually aware of which pocket he put the script in.
Done with the appointment, he sails out of the office, forgetting to make the appointment for the stress test, trying like crazy to recall — from memory — the exact content of the his visit, so he can be sure to get himself back on track.
When he gets home, his wife asks him how the appointment was, and he has trouble remembering. He tells her it was okay, but when she asks him what the doctor said, he can’t remember exactly, so he avoids her question. She senses he’s covering something, and she’s concerned that there’s something seriously wrong with him that he’s not telling her. She becomes anxious and starts to press him for details, which he cannot recall exactly. He snaps back at her, and the conversation escalates to yet another argument.
Exhausted and frustrated, he stomps off to bed, tosses his clothes in the hamper, and sleeps the rest of the day. While he’s sleeping, his wife does a load of laundry — including the shirt with the prescription in the front pocket.
When he wakes up, Car Accident Guy remembers he needs to take his BP meds, and he also remembers he needs to get his new prescription. He can’t remember where he put the script, exactly, but it must be in the clothes he was wearing at the doc’s office. Unfortunately, his shirt and pants have gone through the laundry, and the prescription is in soggy tatters in the washer. Furious with himself and furious with his wife, Car Accident Guy flies into a rage and verbally attacks his wife, his kids, anyone who is nearby. He drives off in the car, calling his doctor on his cell phone for a new script.
The doctor is noticeably irritated, and he thinks Car Accident Guy is not committed to taking care of himself. He writes another script and faxes it to the pharmacy, so his patient can pick it up. Car Accident Guy thanks the doctor and heads to the pharmacy, but on the way there, he’s distracted by a yard sale along the road. He pulls over and spends an hour and a bunch of money buying some pieces of furniture he doesn’t really need, but that look nice and are available for a good price.
He loads the furniture in his car and heads home. When he gets there, his wife is still angry with him, and she’s packing to go to her mother’s house with the kids. In the meantime, his anger has completely dissipated, and he doesn’t understand what she’s still angry about. He also can’t understand why she isn’t pleased with the bargains he found. She asks him where his prescription is.
“Prescription?” he asks…
That’s more or less a cause-and-effect narrative of what can happen, just from a couple “simple” problems like sleep disruption, distractability, and lower anger thresholds — all of which are common in TBI. Even MTBI (supposedly “mild”) can produce life-wrecking after-effects. Believe me. I’ve lived it. I know. Car Accident Guy’s story is not terribly different from my own, though my own circumstances are different — still, the types of problems mulitiple MTBIs have brought me are not that different from these.
It’s eerily easy to end up in a downward slide — in no small part due to sleep issues, which contribute to distractability, which contributes to frustration, which contributes to lowered anger flashpoints.
But in the same vein, being aware of the issues up front, makes it eerily easy to avoid situations like this.
Getting enough sleep is a start. Being mindful of your energy level is another. Keeping notes about what you need to do is yet another. And stopping to check in with yourself and double-check your work is yet another.
TBI, even mild traumatic brain injury, can totally screw up your life. The good news is, it doesn’t have to.
2 thoughts on “The MTBI Downward Spiral”
Boy, does that say it all. With variations, similar scenarios happened to me – and I was at least somewhat cognizant of what was wrong, thanks to one helpful doctor (out of four or five) and, after nine months, a reasonably good neuropsych. And even then, I couldn’t fathom what was REALLY wrong. Even now, when I lose/ misplace/ forget obvious things I should remember, I become infuriated.
Sad thing is, it manifests itself in so many different ways, as many different patterns of irritability and forgetfulness as there are personalities.
It’s wild, isn’t it, how we can be so clueless about the issues that are right on top of us, day in and day out, and not have an inkling about the source or the nature of them…
I have to say, I have been doing A LOT better with the outrage business, since my neuropsych explained to me how it works and that it’s just part of this constant restlessness and agitation that comes with TBI. It happens to so many of us. I’m surprised there aren’t volumes written about it.
Instead, we have to sorta kinda muddle our way through, which is in itself maddening.
But at least there’s progress. Or there can be, anyway.