Well, I sold my bikes

A number of years back, I bought a couple of really nice bikes — one road bike for the kinds of long trips I used to take, one hybrid that was more for riding on bike trails in the countryside or at the beach.

But after having them sit in my basement for years on end, I couldn’t take looking at them anymore. So, I sold them to some very appreciative folks who I am certain will give them good homes.

When I bought them, I had every intention of getting back into riding regularly. My schedule was freed up, and I had a lot of motivation. But I discovered that when I rode, I was pretty distracted by all the visual and audible input around me. And riding on back roads made me pretty nervous.

So, I stopped riding. Promised myself I’d try again later… But that never materialized. I could never seem to get past the anxiety of riding, the distractions of the road, and the potential danger of traffic around drivers who weren’t paying attention.

Letting them go was probably one of the harder things I’ve done in the past few years. But now that it’s done, I feel a certain sense of relief. I can now walk down into my basement without looking at the bikes and thinking, “When will I get back out there?” I can go on vacation without having to ponder the pros and cons of bringing a bike with me. I can do a lot of things now, without that extra consideration to noodle over.

And that’s fine. Because as much as I wanted to believe that I was going to get active in that way, fact of the matter is, my life has changed and I’m better off doing other things. And frankly, even if I was fine with riding on roads and being out and about on a moving bicycle, I probably still wouldn’t do it. Because I’ve got lots to do, and less time than I’d like. I just don’t have the hours to spend on back roads, anymore.

Time to move on.

And it’s fine.

Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

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