Clumsy, clumsy, clumsy

Ever since I got back from my trip, I’ve been bumping into stuff left and right. Dropping things. Having things fly out of my hands. I know what that’s about — I’m tired beyond tired. I’m beat. Worn out.

So, after work this afternoon, I lay down and took a nap. Better now. Still a little clumsy, but less so than before.

It really bothers me, even though I know what it’s about. I feel like I’m retarded (sorry for the non-pc word). Deficient. Lame. Broken. I don’t feel smooth and cool. I feel like a dork. I don’t feel like a normal person. A normal person would have some control over their movements, not be spastic for no good reason.

I don’t feel like I have a good reason to be so clumsy. I didn’t used to be like this. And I’m too young to be doddering about.

I know what this is caused by – fatigue. But it doesn’t feel like I should be as affected as I am.

Only thing to do, is keep getting good rest. And not be too hard on myself over this. Just rest. And cut myself a break.


Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

One thought on “Clumsy, clumsy, clumsy”

  1. Yes, rest and give yourself a break! It’s interesting how hard you are on yourself when you know you are over tired. Also, I’m glad you were able to meet a lot of family on your trip. It sounds like some of them are like you from what you said. Cool family!


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