In search of something greater

What else is out there?

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to get motivated to keep improving. I hit a snag about a month ago with a project that I had a huge amount of problems adjusting to and dealing with. And the really bad outcome of that project (for me personally, although the project itself turned out okay, overall), was a wake-up call for me to step up my work and get myself back on track.

I feel like I’ve kind of gone off the rails in a lot of ways. I have gotten into a rut and I’m not pushing myself the way I should, in terms of my health and my strength and my endurance. I have pretty much been skating along, for the past 6-9 months, feeling sorry for myself and refusing to adjust to life as it presents itself to me.

How to turn this around?

I actually think I’m headed in a better direction now, really focusing on the basics of my sleep and my food and my exercise. The lessons of that project from hell have not been lost on me. I’ve been pushing myself in my workouts and making more of an effort to get moving — get my heart rate up, and really test (and rest) myself in the things I do.

But there’s got to be something more… something bigger… something greater than just me, in all of this. People talk about a “purpose-driven life” and I get that. But it seems like everywhere I turn, the purposes that people are pursuing have to do with them — and only them. It’s about their ambition. Or their advancement. Or their career. Or their reputation. It’s not about something bigger than them, or something that’s going to last longer than the next year of your life. So much seems to be about people finding a comfort level and then digging into that comfort level and sticking there, through thick and thin, no matter what.

It seems a bit empty to me, actually. And it’s not the kind of orientation that really speaks to me. I really do need something greater than just what’s going to make me rich or influential or powerful or whatever. In the end, what am I leaving behind? How am I affecting the world I live in — and all the people around me?

Yes, I need a much better motivation, than just what will make me more money or make me more popular. Service and assistance and offering something to those less fortunate than myself. That’s what moves me. That’s what motivates me. Maybe that’s why the folks at work have not done the best job at keeping me invested in their plans — they just talk about personal goals and personal advancement, not something bigger and more significant than my own little corner of the world.

What else is out there?

Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

2 thoughts on “In search of something greater”

  1. Some times we search too hard for those bones in life. If we are less frenetic and remain patient they often present themselves to us. So says Dogfucious.


Talk about this - No email is required

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: