Alright, the job-hunting experience has now officially gotten real with a very unpleasant outcome for a nerve-wracking interview. It was a technical screening of my skills, done over the computer with someone watching me code, and I’m afraid I did not do much to help myself.
I started out in the right direction, then I went in the wrong direction. I guess I got nervous – but I did get to showcase some of my other current work that IS more representative of my skills to the person who I was talking to… so it wasn’t a total wash.
At least they got to see some of the more complex things I’ve done — which are a lot more complicated and intricate than the very rudimentary work they asked me to do.
But still… Gah – pain and embarrassment. And I was doing so well, too, talking to recruiters and being all personable and whatnot.. At least, I thought I was. I have been making good impressions with people, presenting well, impressing people with my past experience.
And now this…
Oh, well. It happens. It stings, and it’s a lesson learned. I shall now turn my attention to brushing up on those things I did not do very well today.
And I shall turn my attention to really nailing down the things I need to know — so that I know them by heart. I am in a job where people really like and value my input. It’s a pain in the rear-end and there are some days I just want to walk out. But it’s a job. And it’s buying me time before I move on to the next thing. I just really need to buckle down and work at this stuff — and this experience is certainly motivating me to do exactly that.
And in the end, I guess it’s what I’ve been needing.
I could do without the embarrassment, though.
Broken Brain - Brilliant Mind 
It’s good practice, they say. I hate interviews. The worst one I had was for a copywriting position. I left my jacket hanging on a chair in the interview room and had to run back for it – I was so embarrassed.
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I cringed when I read how you felt the “sting.” Oh God, I’ve been there. These miserable moments of embarrassment and not quite having it together, the not-so-glamorous life post-injury…these are the moments I wish there were a rock I could hide under for a while. Whew boy, I’ve been there…
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Yes, practice… maintaining my dignity in the face of appearing truly brain-damaged 😉 That jacket thing must have been pretty terrible. I actually got some really good information from the interview — I learned a few tricks I’d been wondering about, when they gave me feedback and showed me what they’d *really* wanted me to do. And I also realized I didn’t want to work with them, because the operating system they use is not what I prefer to use. Now I know to ask, next time, which is good. I could do without the embarrassment, but you get what you get, I guess.
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Yeah, I’m going back under my rock for another month or two… brushing up on my skills, keeping a low profile at work, and just focusing on where I want to go and how I want to get there. I’m getting clearer… and I can’t let this experience hold me back. If anything, it can help move me forward. I have a lot more work to do than I originally thought, but it’s good I find out sooner, rather than later.
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Agreed, as uncomfortable as these raw moments are, you’re right, they can indeed direct our paths.
You do a good job of processing experiences, adapting and adjusting, taking breaks, self-care, etc.
A quote from a pre-TBI friend, “When God closes one door, He opens another…but it sure is Hell in the hallway!” 🙂 Amen!
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Is it possible that you’re being very hard on yourself & didn’t do as poorly as you think you did? I know that I’m frequently my own worst enemy. It’s great that you were able to showcase your more advanced skills & it may also be possible that you don’t test well and would need to work that aspect into your interview process.
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Thanks Bob – It’s possible I was being too hard on myself, though the stuff I should have been able to do was pretty elementary. They chose well for the assessment – I probably would have tested someone on the same thing. I really do need to hone that skill (and I’ve spent some hours working on it, since then, so I’m actually much better at it). The thing is – and this is the ultimate irony – what they asked me to do was probably TOO easy for me and on a level that is way below my skill level. Just from the things they were saying, it’s pretty clear they have been working with people pretty junior to me, and this position probably is, too. So it’s probably good that it didn’t go well.
On top of it – yes – I do not test well. So there it is.
Not to worry – it’s all grist for the mill. Onward.
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Classic – I’m totally stealing that one for daily use. “Hell in the hallway,” indeed.
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Yeah! Absolutely, I hope it continues to be an encourager. 🙂
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