Stepping away, taking a break

Ahhh…. it’s waiting….

Ah, the start of vacation… The beginning of 10 days of obligation to do almost nothing at all.

I do need to clean out the car and pack it for the trip, but in a matter of hours, we’ll on the road, putting the rest of the world behind us… and having the space and time to catch up with the rest of the world that gets shoved aside in the mad rush of the everyday.

A time to stop and sit and reflect. A time to kick back and relax. A time to remember what matters most to me, what means most to me, and what I want most to do with my life. My job situation has shifted in a surprise that is causing me to radically rethink my direction. Two mid-level executives are leaving, which is going to open things up internally to shifts and changes which may work to my benefit. The dead-end that was in place just a month ago, has changed into something else. Who knows what that “something else” will turn out to be, but the bottom line is, some of the big reasons I have been planning to move on, may not even be factors by the time I get back from vacation. And by the end of the year, the company may look very different than it does now.

At the same time that things are changing on the outside with others, I know there are also changes I need to make in how I do things where I am now… because it’s not helping me in my search for what’s next. My bad attitude and resentment has been “leaking out” and it’s giving people visible pause to question why I am leaving, if things are so great where I am right now.

In any case, I have the next week and a half to just kick back and let it all roll right off me. I’m going to be beach – the weather is going to be beautiful – I will be seeing some good friends and taking a lot of time to stop and think and re-think some things that really matter a lot to me. The main thing I want to avoid, is what’s happened to me in the past — that I get caught up in obsessing about the problems I have back home and in my everyday… and that looping keeps me stuck in a very uncomfortable state of mind that doesn’t help me at all.

I really need a vacation – from my “everyday self” as much as from my everyday life. Rest, renew, reboot. And so it goes. I’d like to rest up sufficiently to stop the tremor in my hands, and cut back on the fatigue-caused vertigo… just to settle in and stabilize and get my strength back. It’s been too long since I last had a real vacation, so I’m hoping I can get back some of what I’m looking for… some of what I need.

I’m sure I’ll manage.

And now it’s time to manage the beginning of my vacation – pack my bags, pack the car, pick up some food and fill the gas tank, and off we go.

Yah, baby…

Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

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