If I could get some, that would be great. I’ve had to work late, the last two nights, and despite my best-laid plans, I have not been able to sleep till 7 in the morning, as planned. If I’d been able to sleep till 7, it would be a whole different story. But I’m stressed out over work, and that’s waking me up. It’s also keeping me up. So, I’ve got to get a grip on this and not let myself get too stressed over things.
Easy to say. Hard to do. It feels strange, going through the motions every day, keeping up appearances of planning to stay on, while doing everything in my power to get the hell out of that situation as soon as humanly possible… but not jump too soon, or go from the frying pan into the fire. It’s not easy for me to operate in this conflicted state of mind. I really care about the people I work with and I want to be able to commit to it 100%, but I don’t see that happening. The company is just wretched, it doesn’t show any sign that it cares about any of us, they have us working in a building which is structurally unsafe (portions of it collapsed last month), the open-plan workspace is a great way to get absolutely nothing done each day, and they just shuffle us around like cards in a deck. It seems to be the same, just about anywhere you go in the corporate world, so I’m definitely not alone. It’s par for the multi-national corporation course.
Still, it’s not easy. And it’s not what I want for my life.
I really just need to keep my eyes on the prize – keep working on my skills, keep sharpening my abilities, and not get too side-tracked by all the static that’s happening around us.
Because that’s really all it is — static.
Which is unfortunate. Because what a waste of time… And churning over it all is costing me sleep. Rest. Recovery. I’m still not completely over that damn’ flu, and my job situation is not helping.
Well, if nothing else, at least I still have my sense of humor… I think… And it’s a new day, so I’m going to get ready for work and just get on with it. And finish up the day at the office early, so I can come home. And rest.