Yes. Going to bed.

I had an early start this morning, after a couple of late work evenings. I also had a very taxing day — performance review which turned out better than any others I’ve had, but was still very draining… along with a bunch of stuff going on that is very taxing.

So, I left work at 4:30 and got home just around dusk… had some dinner, and now I’m going to bed.



This is good.

Part of me wants to stay up, because it’s a good three hours before my usual bedtime and I can think of all kinds of things I’d rather be doing than sleeping.

But screw it. I’m not good for much, considering the state I’m in. So, I am going to bed.

Good night.

Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

3 thoughts on “Yes. Going to bed.”

  1. When I’ve had a day like you have… it’s off to bed early. If I try to do something else, something I like… I’m going to make a mess and that will put me into the Cycle of Response. I really hate that, but fortunately I now know the steps in the cycle and am able to pull back… sometimes.

    The hardest thing I had to accept after my TBI is that I only have 4-6 “cognizant” hours a day!

    I work to keep track of what I did during the day, that way I can feel good about what I have done, celebrate that, and not worry about what didn’t get done.

    What really pisses me off? The guy that ran into us, my wife and I, was so concerned about what it might do to his business, his standard of living… yet I’d bet he has no grasp at all of what it has done to ours!!!

    So it goes…yup, time for me to go to bed too!


  2. That is so true – the limitations on “cognizant” hours is a very real issue. My best hours are from 7-11, and then from 3:30-6. So, that’s about 7 hours, but it’s got to be broken up. I start to wind down around 11 and am in full “lull mode” by noon… then I start to pick up speed again at 3 and I’m good to go again around 3:30. When I try to do “heavy lifting” thinking between noon and 3, it’s a lost cause. Truly. That’s probably when I should schedule my mindless meetings, come to think of it.

    It’s funny – acknowledging my productive vs. unproductive hours and scheduling the right times for the right activities is something I have really resisted. It’s like I don’t want to “surrender” to that fact of life. But a fact of life it is. So, for this year, I need to really change how I schedule my time and take care of things. I also need to be more protective of my most useful hours and make sure I am not around people who want to talk my ear off, while I’m trying to get work done. That’s a real problem that I need to address.

    Well, it’s always a learning process… At least I got 9 hours of sleep last night. (!)

    As for the guy who hit you… yes, there are narcissistic sociopaths who walk among us…

    Ah, well. Have a good day.


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