No animals were harmed in the making of my last vacation

… and no people were harmed, either. A couple of times, I came close to snapping at folks, and I did get a little testy at one point. But I managed to pull out of it, just step away and catch my breath — count to 90… distract myself with something more interesting and positive than freaking out — and then get back into the action without making everyone around me uncomfortable… or worse.

And this is good. I have to say, I felt like crap, most of the trip. I was very dizzy, off balance, exhausted, and really feeling terrible about my job and work situation. I was falling asleep on my feet, half the time, and there were a whole lot of conversations I did not even try to keep up with, because I could only concentrate on one thing at a time, and people were being generally self-centered and rude and talking over each other.

Constantly.

But yet I kept my cool. And when I felt things starting to get a little haywire, I did something about it.

I can’t say that I actually enjoyed myself all that much, but at the very least I did NOT harm anyone else, which was change from how things have been before. In the past, people have pretty much regretted that I came to visit — I would get so uptight and snappy and pick fights and be impossible to talk to. Not this time, though. This time was different.

Some things were a bust, on this trip. But the benefits of my “behavior management” were pretty good.

Just glad I’m home. For real.

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Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

5 thoughts on “No animals were harmed in the making of my last vacation”

  1. Congrats! It feels so good to note progress. My progress is far more subtle, even so, I make note just to offset the mostly long periods of clinging to life by my fingernails! Gail

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