Keeping the big picture in view

Lots of stuff going on. Lots of activity. Lots of good things, and lots of fatigue to go with it. I’ve been stepping away to sleep for a half hour or so, around lunchtime, and it’s been helping. It’s hard to believe how tired I get…

Part of the tiredness comes from “anticipation fatigue” — getting ideas in my head about what’s going to happen, and then experiencing those things as though they have already happened. It’s a vice — only right now is actually real. I like to think I’m preparing myself, but what I’m really doing is avoiding what’s in front of me.

Anyway, I have a couple of big deadlines ahead of me over the coming week, and I’m getting a little anxious about them. Some of it is potentially life-changing stuff, which I could easily bail on, so I don’t have to contend with the anxiety and stress. But if I don’t follow through, how will I live with myself?

So, I try to keep steady and stay strong. And not get ahead of myself. Take things one at a time, and see where that leads me. It’s all good, really – it’s just a lot to do.

Keep the big picture in mind… but also tend to the little details.

Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

4 thoughts on “Keeping the big picture in view”

  1. Taking naps is a good thing to help recharge your batteries and figure things out. In the early years of my recovery there were some days I would sleep for 24 hours. I still love my naps and could take one everyday if I could. I think getting my rest over the last year of my recovery has helped me deal with the knife attack and PTSD that set my brain injury recovery back 15-20 years. I am now back about where I was before the attack and feel pretty good. I think doing Mindfulness Meditation and taking long naps every weekend has helped as much as anything, EMDR and EFT (tapping) helped set me on course for Mindfulness Meditation to do it’s thing.


  2. Oh man, I wish I could sleep for 24 hours. That is something I have never been able to do, much as I have wanted to – and tried. Sorry to hear about the knife attack. I really do think that TBI and PTSD go hand-in-hand, so it makes sense to me that the attack would have set you back. Glad to hear you’re on your way back.


  3. Thanks for the support! Those 24 hour sleeps weren’t often but when they happened really were nice. That was before I could dream again and it was like taking a long nap – only it lasted for 18 -24 hours. The origins of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is because of the PTSD (this is before PTSD was recognized fully as a disability) was suppose to be inclusive for families who are also traumatized by the brain injury.


  4. That’s very true – TBI can be traumatizing for everyone involved. It would be great if more support were provided to our families. Come to think of it, it would be great if more support were provided to everyone.


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