A little better each day

It happens from the inside. As it becomes plainly evident that something has changed… and it’s not changing back.

Each day, you get to know this “new you” a little better. And then, every now and then, you turn a corner and realize that the “you” you were expecting didn’t show up.

So you go back to getting to know yourself again. Sorta kinda like that movie “Groundhog Day”. Only this movie doesn’t have an ending. It just keeps going.

It’s no one’s fault, it just is. It’s not the sort of thing that helps to bitch and moan about. Sure, you can do that, but it doesn’t change anything.

And your body chemistry changes, strange things happen to your senses. You develop tough patches of skin on your arms and neck… and you aren’t nearly as fond of bright lights as you used to be.

Each day, you get up and go back to do it again. A little better each day.

Each day, you think, “Maybe this will be the day that — ” and then you forget what that “that” was going to be, because what IS has gotten the upper hand over “what should”.

It’s chilly tonight, and I smell like the varnish mist that sprayed back on me when I was trying to finish a piece of wood earlier today.

Tomorrow I will air myself out.

Again.