Today is the six year anniversary of this blog. To say that it has changed my life for the better would be an understatement.
Six years ago, I was at my wits’ end, unable to make sense of my life or understand why everything that once was so familiar, now seemed so strange to me. I was in a pattern of learned helplessness that kept me stuck in behaviors and choices that sabotaged me on a regular basis.
I was convinced that I could not understand what people were saying to me — and never would.
I was convinced that I was a total loser who was good for nothing.
I was battling difficulties with balance and distractability and agitation and irritability and aggression that shredded relationships and put my marriage in dire danger.
I could not read and comprehend what I’d read, and I couldn’t remember a plot line of a book from one page to the next.
I had become slightly dyslexic, getting letters turned around when I wrote.
And I could not keep a job. My life was a shambles, my money was disappearing on a regular basis, and people took advantage of me – left and right – because they could “smell” that I was an easy mark.
To say that this has changed would be an understatement.
I now know how to listen so I can understand what people were saying to me — and ask for clarification when I need it.
I know that I am NOT a total loser who is good for nothing. I have a lot to offer, and I have what I would describe as a very successful life.
I know how to handle my difficulties with balance, I understand what exacerbates my distractability and agitation and irritability and aggression, and I know how to head off problems before they trash my relationships and threaten my marriage.
I can now read and comprehend what I’ve read, and I can remember a plot line of a book from one page to the next.
I am still slightly dyslexic, getting letters turned around when I wrote, but I don’t let that stop me or hold me back. I just make the corrections and move on.
I can keep a job. In fact, I have won awards at my job. My life is no longer a shambles, my money situation is turned around and I have much better handle on things, and I am learning how to change my behavior and outlook so that people cannot take easy advantage of me – because I am learning how to be a “hard” mark.
It’s pretty amazing, when I think about it. And I’m profoundly grateful for all the good I’ve received in the course of the past six years, as I’ve pursued this journey of TBI recovery.
Many of you have helped me a great deal – both by supporting me, sharing your own stories, or calling “B.S.” on me, when I was being ridiculous. I have learned so much from you, as well as from my own life, and I have been truly blessed by this whole blogging process.
So, that being said, thank you all for your contributions and continued support here. I wish you all the very best of New Years — and an amazing year to come.
Onward!
“I had become slightly dyslexic, getting letters turned around when I wrote.”
Interesting. I sometimes type a completely different word, though always with the same number of letters. For instance, I’ll intend to type “the” but actually type “and”. Thankfully that happens less and less often.
Good to hear things are so much better. I think sometimes we get frustrated with our current situation and forget just how far we’ve actually come.
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So true… that’s interesting about the word mix-ups. I actually noticed something like that the other day – I wanted to type one word, but a completely different one came out. I’m not sure if it was the same number of letters. I also find myself skipping ahead and writing the first letter of the next word as the last letter of the previous word — for example, I’ll write “walkind own” instead of “walking down”. Strange. But not unmanageable.
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Same here. You just get REALLY good at editing.
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Congratulations and keep up the good work!!!! Your words are clear and message sincere. All the best to you and your family in 2014!!!!
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“Writing without revising is the literary equivalent of waltzing gaily out of the house in your underwear.” (Patricia Fuller)
I think this is more true for some, than others — and for me, it’s certainly true 🙂
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Thank you Ken – and the same to you, this coming year!
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