So, I haven’t been doing as much sitting and breathing as I was before.
I almost feel like I don’t actually need to, right now. I get to a certain point where I am comfortable and not in pain, and I don’t feel like I need to do anything “extra” over and above my daily activities.
Of course, that’s not necessarily the case. I still need to sit and breathe, even if I am feeling calm and good. I still have stress, and I still have situations in my days that I need to manage and take the edge off. So I’m working the sitting and breathing into my daily routine at a time that’s better suited, than first thing in the morning. I’ve been getting to bed earlier than I have been, over the past months and years, and I’m taking a few minutes to just sit and breathe, to get myself to chill out.
I still need to take care of myself, even though I don’t necessarily feel like I do.
And when I am in a good space and feeling calm, I can see that fact. When I’m stressed out and I think “I feel good”, I don’t do the things I need to do to stay healthy. When I’m not calm and I’m on edge, everything feels like it’s made out of plastic, and nothing is real, and nothing really matters.
If that makes any sense…
But when I am calm, everything changes.
It’s like I get my life back. And I can breathe again. I can feel again. Everything is real again.
So, that’s where I’m putting my attention, these days: Keeping it real, keeping myself calm. And not letting everything get hold of me the way it used to.