So, I’m finally sitting down to write one of the books I’ve been planning for some time. It’s an extended version of my series of posts I wrote about Recovering a Sense of Self after TBI. I had already written a good bit, for starters, so it’s filling out nicely.
Which is good, because I need to make some headway on it, and this coming week promises to be really crazy. I’ve got three big deadlines looming at work, and I’m going to be flat-out pretty much the whole time.
This book is letting me focus in on one thing that I can do, rather than a million different little details that I need to make sure everyone else is doing. It’s a lot of work, but it’s good. And it’s a welcome change.
It’s also reminding me about a lot of things I’ve conveniently blocked out of my mind, for some time now. All the issues that come up after TBI, all the confusion, the frustrations, the dead-ends, and back-tracking that’s a regular part of TBI recovery… it can get to be so overwhelming. And when you’re just beginning your recovery, finding a pattern to your life, a structure and meaning… well, that’s the main challenge. It’s critical to put positive, constructive structures in place, so the brain can acclimate to a routine again. Our systems are lovers of routine, and we need to have a sense of ourselves in a context that makes sense.
Beyond TBI, this book is teaching me lots about the world in general. The things that apply to TBI recovery, can also apply to other neurodiverse challenges, as well as life for the general populace. With TBI, they’re all made that much more extreme. Human relationships, how we live our lives, how we find meaning in the world, how we build a sense of who we are and how we will / would / can / should be to ourselves and others around us… all that becomes so much more confusing and frustrating. And with TBI they also all come into much clearer focus as important — essential — parts of human life and experience.
It’s like, with TBI we are pushed to the outer limits of what it means to be human. And with TBI recovery, we are forced to reach deeper inside ourselves and farther out around us, to develop the resources we need. People without TBI could probably learn a lot from TBI survivors about what it means to be fully human. The thing is, everyone is so afraid and under-informed. So who wants to listen to us?
Well, whatever. I’ve got a couple of hours to do some more writing, then I’m spending the day with my spouse. The weather is beautiful, and we have an all-day outing planned. So long as I get back at a decent hour. Because my day starts early tomorrow.