Where am I today?

I’m tired. I woke up feeling groggy and dull.

Still feeling groggy and dull.

Too much adrenaline from the past few days.

I am so relieved it is Friday. It’s just one thing after another.

There’s a lot going on that’s good and bad. And so much of it is good things, that while I know I need to slow down and take it easy, I don’t want to.

I have this pressing feeling that I need to make up for lost time. I need to make up for the years I’ve lost, the money I’ve wasted, the opportunities I’ve passed up.

My birthday is coming up in about a week, and for some reason, turning 50 feels like an event. I don’t know why, because I’ve never actually given my age much thought. Everybody says I seem much younger — though some of that may be immaturity. I’ve never been much for numbers, anyway. And since I have no kids, I don’t feel the march of time the same way everyone else around me does.

It’s strange. I have a life I can be proud of… skills I can be proud of… peace of mind that’s with me in important ways… a life filled with interest and engagement.

But I still feel dull and dense and slow. And I can’t keep up with everything that I want to keep up with. It’s irritating. It’s strange.

Well, whatever. I can’t sit around, feeling badly about all this. It’s time for me to get going. The day awaits.

Onward.

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Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

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