And now my doctor has died…

This is terrible. And strange. My PCP, who has been on medical leave since the beginning of the year, died two weeks ago. I just got the notification from their office – I was supposed to see them for my annual physical. It’s really a shame. They were a great doctor, with great rapport and a keen sense of what was going on with you. They knew their stuff, and even when they were out of their depth – like with me and my TBI issues – they reached out to their peers for more information.

They really were a rare sort of doctor, and they will be sorely missed. Their remembrance book at the funeral home website is full of entries from patients who were absolutely devastated by this loss.

Such a shame.

A damned shame.

My first reaction was intense anger, because they had so much life and loved to live. They were genuinely caring and went out of their way to make you comfortable and know that you we re being cared for. In all my years of dealing with really awful doctors, they were the one bright light in a sea of darkness.

Then the sadness.

Then the regret that I never sent a card or reached out while they were sick. But I did not know the proper protocol, so in that case, I usually do nothing. Well, I was just one of many, many patients, so …

A lot of times, a loss like this makes you more keenly aware of how precious life is. And how short it can be. I am staying in a beautiful place, with the ocean and beaches a short drive away. I’m working in the mornings, and vacationing in the afternoons. And it looks like weather is going to hold.

I have plenty of time to think. And be grateful for what I have, what I’ve had, and what is yet to come.



Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

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