Happy Friday

Indeed. It’s been a settling week, with all the international upheaval feeling a lot more familiar than it did, 10 days ago. I have been a little behind on my sleep, as I’ve had a few late nights, and I’m running on 6 – 7 hours, instead of 8+. I had some interesting experiences last weekend with sleeping past 7:00, which is “sleeping in” for me. But I don’t really like to do that much. I need to keep to my schedule. Fortunately, my spouse now understands that, and they are actually helping me get to bed earlier, instead of insisting that I stay up late with them, like they used to.

I can’t believe it’s nearly Thanksgiving. That’s crazy. I’ll be traveling through several states to see two sides of the family, this year. The ranks are thinning at my parents’ house. My siblings all have some adult children of their own, now, and their kids are starting to get engaged,married, and have babies. So, they’re starting to congregate in their own spaces, rather than at our parents’ place. Which makes for a quiet time.

And that’s fine, actually. Thanksgiving at my parents’ place has always been so loud, so overwhelming, so chaotic… that’s how my parents like it — lots of people, lots of noise, lots of activity. They just love it — as do most of my siblings. But for me, it’s always been sheer hell, to have to deal with everything. It was always exhausting, always depleting, and 11 years ago, I got slammed with a nasty TBI, thanks to being over-tired and un-coordinated while standing at the top of my parents’ stairs.

This year, things are much more mellow. And that’s fine with me. It’s even fine with my parents, who are slowing down and are (finally) starting to realize that spending quiet time just hanging out and talking with your loved-ones is a good way to pass the time. They both get squirrely, sure, but they’re better at just chilling out than they ever were before.

Might have something to do with them getting older and literally slowing down… Which is sad, in a way. And they’re old enough that each year I have to wonder if this is the last year we’ll all be together.

This time of year always brings that up for me. The seasons are shifting and changing, fall is gradually turning into winter, and things appear to be dying. There’s been a lot of death, over the past months. A lot of losses — for me and for the rest of the world. My PCP, who was the only doctor I ever actually got along with and formed a decent working relationship with, died at the beginning of September. That business in Paris. All the bombings all over the world. And now my neuropsych is getting ready to retire.

In a very real way, their retirement is a sort of death. Because the person I am, when I am around them, is going to cease to exist in another 4 months or so. There are 19 weeks left, till we stop working together, and I’m conflicted. On the one hand, they have really, really helped me, and I frankly don’t know what I would have done without having their help each week since 2008. I believe I actually used to see them twice a week, at the start, then  went to once — and it was pretty nerve-wracking, at the start.

Anyway, I want to really do that working relationship justice and close things out properly over the next four months. But the prospect of 19 more weeks of that is a bit daunting. So, I’ll just take it day by day and let it all just be. It’s Friday. I love my job. Things are good. I have enough money in the bank that I could pay for the timing belt repair on my van without needing a four-month payment plan, like before. It took 1/3 of my available savings, but I did pay it off. No debt. No harm. No foul.

So, today, what shall I do? I am working remotely today. The library opens at 9, and I can hunker down and do some work. I will have uninterrupted time to really study and dig into the guts of what I am working on. I need some time to study, away from the busy-ness of the workplace, and this is what I’ll have.

So, that’s good. Happy Friday.


Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

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