Keeping my spirits up

Well, this Thanksgiving holiday is turning out different than planned.  On the final leg of our 2-day drive, Wed night, the power steering started to act up in the van. By the time we arrived, the steering was there – but no power. I popped the hood and found the fluid was completely gone.

My brother-in-law gave me a ride to the auto parts store where I picked up a quart of specially formulated fluid for my vehicle, then I refilled the reservoir and drove around the block, and things started to sound better.

This morning, I checked the levels, and it had lost a fair amount. The van is basically undriveable for long trips – which is exactly what we have ahead of us. We took the van to a friend of theirs who is a great mechanic, and I got a call a little while ago that the power rack was leaking, and who knew what else was wrong. It’s not cheap to repair.

And they might not get it done by end of day. And then, they are closed for the weekend. Which means we don’t get back on the road till Monday at the earliest. But at least my job is flexible.  I will just take more time off.

The worst thing is putting my in-laws out. And not being on my schedule.  And my spouse being anxious.  The money is the least of my concerns, right now.

I really want to just break down. Collapse. I am so tired. And my spouse is a real challenge.  And my side of the family is so interactive, so needy,  so social and overwhelming, it just adds to the ehoke overwhelm. If I survive in one piece without getting hurt, I will be happy.

It’s  a goal. Onward.

But first, I need another nap.


Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

5 thoughts on “Keeping my spirits up”

  1. Hey you. I know it’s hard, but keep going. Sometimes things are hard and we don’t know how we will get through, but we do. I hope things work out 🙂


  2. Ah, thanks – yes, actually, things did work out. Got the van back yesterday afternoon, and it’s running like a dream. These things happen, it sometimes just takes a little while to get my head around it and get some perspective. Overall, I did manage to keep fairly level-headed throughout the experience, so that’s definitely a good thing. Years before, I would have fallen apart under the weight of imagining my death by a thousand minor inconveniences. This is progress. Thanks again.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks — the process continues. Rest fixes a lot of things. As does taking the long view. I’ve actually learned a lot over the past days, to put to good use later. Not easy lessons, but useful. And (hopefully) not likely to be forgotten. Then again, with my memory… 😉 Ah well, then I guess I’ll have the opportunity to learn them all over again.


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