So, every now and then, a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche crosses my path, and it strikes me as quite fitting. The quote for today, which I found over at the Brainpickings site (great site, by the way – lots of thought-provoking writing – nicely done) is all about suffering, and how it’s a great benefit to be wished for, rather than avoided.
Well, I’ve pretty much got that covered, and not on purpose. Each day has its own little constellation of wonders, thanks to long-term post-concussion symptoms that never seem to go away. Even when I’m feeling great, I never know how long it will last.
So, I’ll take comfort in the idea that this is all incredibly character-building… and get on with my day.
They’ve announced some pretty sweeping organizational changes, this week, which means… who the hell knows? I know people are probably freaking out, but I’m feeling pretty good about it. At least they’re taking action and making some decisions.
Plus — good news — they announced this before I submitted my quarterly self-assessment, so if I have more information about where this is all going, I can edit my performance review materials to better suit the new direction.
And, frankly, always suffering. I mean, seriously. This long-term TBI symptoms stuff is for the birds. Dizziness, vertigo, usually feeling like I’m going to throw up, ringing in my ears (tho’ I got used to that, pretty much), light and noise sensitivity (a useful gauge for how much I need to take a break), chronic pain, confusion, sleep disruptions… you name it, I’ve probably got it on any given day.
It’s been that way for years, and now, 10 years after my last significant head trauma, I’m at the point of just giving up on expecting it to get any better, anytime soon. I’m just going to take it for what it is — and keep living my life. Because the world around me is fascinating enough to me, to take my mind off my troubles. And there’s a whole lot more out there waiting for me to discover it.
So, it’s off to work. I’ve bagged the whole idea of going in early and then having time in the evenings, because — let’s be honest — I “run hot” all day, and if I live my life properly, I am completely spent after 8 hours at the office. So, it’s back to my early-morning blogging, and dragging myself off the pity-pot that’s special made for me.
There’s a lot to do out there, and if I don’t do it… I’m sure someone else will come along to step into my shoes. But it’s a heck of a lot more fun, if I get to do it, myself.