Step #2 in finding a new neuropsychologist is : Be clear about what I want to achieve from working with someone. I need to make up a short-list of my issues — a condensed version which will communicate to the neuropsych the nature and extent of my issues.
The last time I was looking for help for my persistent TBI/concussion issues, back in 2008, I did a lot of things in ways that kept me from getting help. One of those things was bombarding potential docs with a whole binder full of information about my history, my present, and more. It was seriously a sheaf of papers I had to hold together with a binder clip. And when I showed up to talk to neuros about my symptoms, they just looked at me like I was insane.
Because I sort of was. TBI had so scrambled my brain, had so confused my ability to think clearly about, well, anything, and it had really decimated my ability to see the forest rather than all the trees. It also exaggerated just about any perception I had, distorting it like a funhouse mirror. So, of course I looked and sounded a little crazy. Of course I did.
And accordingly, I was dismissed and treated like a malingering drug-seeker — and I didn’t get any help at all.
So, I had to take care of it, myself.
This time, I don’t want to repeat that, so while I am collecting details on my current situation, I’m thinking about how that actually affects my functioning, what impact it has to myself and my environment, and how I want it to be. Cliff notes. Boil it down. Now I can actually boil things down to their most basic essence, so I’m going to do that.
This morning, I am extremely dizzy & lightheaded, feel like I’m going to fall over, my head feels like it’s in a slowly tightening vice, and I’m pretty foggy today. I’m having a heck of a time getting started. It’s holding me back, because I need to be up and at ’em, not puttering around the house, fiddling with this and that. I know better. I’m just having trouble doing better, and I’d like to fix that.
I really need to be “on”, these days, because my year-end self-assessment and performance reviews are happening now. Unlike days of yore, when your boss rated you, nowadays we have to do assessments on our activities and report on what we’ve done. This is one of those times when I can’t fake my way through — I need to be clear and concise, and I need to represent myself well. If I’m foggy and can’t get started (I’ve had real problems with initiation for a couple months, now), I can’t do my level best on my self-assessments or my future goals. I’ve struggled with just getting myself to figure out the self-report form, and I’ve messed up a couple times, putting comments in the wrong fields (of course, it would be nice if the app let me move things around, but no).
And these difficulties directly impact my ability to earn a good living, advance in my career, and be the best that I can be.
So, in order to get help with this, I need to be able to succinctly state the issues I’m having, how they are affecting me, and state clearly what I want to have happen instead. I need to give enough information that it makes sense to someone, but not so much that they glaze over.
I also need to use these notes to practice talking to someone about my issues, so I can communicate clearly and have all the right information to give them. I’ll use my notes as talking points — and possibly make up a separate bullet point list for myself — no, it will be more helpful if I am referring to a copy of what I give to the other person.
Armed with this tool, I hope to find someone to help me “hack” these problems. That would be great.
Broken Brain - Brilliant Mind 
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