I was doing pretty well today, till around noon. I had a good morning with good exercise and breakfast, catching up on some reading, having a morning walk in the woods, and then running errands.
I felt good. Strong. Happy. Like my life had purpose.
Around noon, while I was out and about, picking up home repair supplies, all of a sudden, I lost all my enthusiasm. It’s like a switch flipped off. And the rest of the early afternoon, while I was on the way to the grocery store to food shop for the next few days, all of a sudden, it all drained out of me.
All the enthusiasm. All the hope. All the motivation.
It was just… gone.
I finished my errands, noting that I’m able to function adequately without having an interest in what I’m doing. I can get a lot done, even if I don’t care at all about what I’m doing.
I put up the groceries, ran the trash to the dump, then cleaned the downstairs bathroom for good measure.
Then I took my shower and went to bed for a nap. I slept about an hour and a half, then woke up feeling even worse. Depressed. Down. Not at all my happy, resolute self of the morning. Nothing like that person.
I guess I just ran out of steam. And now I’m just regrouping, hoping to pull myself together for the last hours of the day. I’m volunteering in the morning, which I was looking forward to. But now I kind of dread it. And I just want it to be over.
It will be.
Then I’ll come back home, maybe crawl back into bed, and just lie there.
Or maybe I’ll feel better. I really don’t know.
I’ll find out.
Update (After 15 minutes of reflection): I am starving! I’ve been starving all day, and last night, too. I think this may be a migraine coming on. I’m never this ravenous, going through all the cupboards looking for food. I’ll need to take care of myself extra, this weekend. Just to be sure.