It’s Saturday. I get another chance to get myself straightened out, today. This week has been pretty demanding. I’ve got a lot going on at work, and unfortunately, a lot of the people I’m dealing with in other offices don’t actually respond to you unless you “get heavy” with them. I hate that. I hate having to throw a fit, threaten then, cc my (and their) boss, and push them to do what they should be doing from the start, anyway.
A lot of the people I’m dealing with are much younger than I. They’re young enough to be my children (which is a very strange thought, to be honest). And they’re often from the other side of the world. For some reason, they seem to think they know what they’re doing. They don’t. They still have a steep learning curve ahead of them, and they don’t seem to understand just how much I — and others at my level — really know. We’ve already been through their learning curve, and we’ve learned from experience… for 15-20 years more than they.
But do they listen? Do they respect me, and others like me? Apparently not. They love to lecture me about “how things are” and “what’s expected”. Oh my God. I just don’t have time for their strangely supercilious attitude. And — God help me — I have to resort to threats to get them to pay attention, when all I want is for them to work collegially with me and do their damn’ jobs. All I want is to work with people who act like peers, who respect others, who are focused on doing the right thing — not the politically expedient thing.
I know, I know… I’m being unreasonable again.
Well, anyway, it’s Saturday and I have the whole weekend to reset — even more than that, because it’s the Fourth of July next Tuesday, and a whole lot of people will be taking Monday off. So, I effectively have a 4-day weekend (where I only use 3 of those days). I look forward to Monday, actually, to get some things done. To think. To strategize. To get my head together and think about things in deliberate the ways that work best for me.
I’m looking forward to having some time to read and think, for 3 of those 4 days. I’ve been so busy at work and with other projects, I haven’t had time to zero in on my TBI work, lately. That’s been the case for over a year now. When my old neuropsych moved away, I lost a valuable connection that kept me focused on my TBI recovery in some really productive ways. Losing that weekly presence in my life was a significant loss. We do keep in touch as friends (not in a rehab context), but it’s not the same. I need to see if I can incorporate more TBI stuff into our conversations. It’s tricky, though. Not sure how best to do that…
Anyway, for some reason, life feels like it’s opened up for me. I feel less pressure, for some reason. Maybe because I’ve decided for certain that I’m not staying in this current job past the end of the year. That helps. Seeing an end to all this foolishness… it gives me hope. I’ve made peace with it. I’ve done my 2 years of duty here. It’s time to move on. It’s been time to move on… but skipping out on a job before 2 years are up, is generally not seen as a good thing. At the end of this month, I’ll be at the 2-year mark, so that’s my virtual starting line. Then I can start really pursuing other opportunities. And in the meantime, I can still do my work — and enjoy it as best I can.
This past week, I actually applied for a job that someone approached me about. It looked perfect for me in terms of responsibilities and money, and I applied for it. But I never heard back from anyone, so I guess it’s not going to happen. I may “ping” them next week, just to see what’s going on. Maybe they already found someone.
Well, whatever. There are no perfect jobs, and maybe that one would have been a pain in the a$$. I may never know. Just keep moving along. Just keep moving along.
It’s Saturday. The first day of a long weekend (even with that single day in there). It’s a chance to reset my sense of things, to settle in to do some actual thinking about stuff. I’ve been in reaction mode all week, and that’s a real drain.
Time to think. And get some stuff done on my own, rather than wrangling with other people and their issues.
It’s pretty awesome when that happens. And it’s happening now.
Onward.
Broken Brain - Brilliant Mind 
I always imagine we are of similar age? (I’m 44) and it’s the sweet spot of having common sense and doing a job for which we are paid for. And not needing to be prompted to do it. And while the younger generation work smarter not harder, we remember being that young but rewarded getting our work done by going out and having fun after we got our work done the first time we were asked. Probably doesn’t help you much so pester. Pester. Pester. Something I learnt from babies that also works. Cheers,H
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I was like you but that was a long time ago. Finally, I decided to stick with a job past the two-year mark and ended up staying for over ten years. I learned so much during those additional eight plus years too. I would not have quit when I did but I had the chance to move overseas. It was one of those life experiences some of us do not want to miss for anything. Your co-workers may not know a lot but when you look at the big picture of life as a whole, who knows all that much anyway?
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I’ve stayed on at jobs longer than 2 years, in the past, and I learned a lot in the process, as well. We’ll see how this goes. I’ve pretty much entered the land of No Guarantees, so I’m staying open…
Thanks for writing.
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Close… tho’ I’m a few years “ahead” of you, whatever that means. Age has never meant a lot to me. I’ve had relatives who were more chipper and “with it” at age 90, than many people half their age, so it’s all relative. But for the lessons learned – yeah, we’re in the same “ballpark”, if you will.
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I love the basis of your blog! Even though I do not fall into the category of mild traumatic brain injury survivor (I had a severe TBI from a fall I think), I can certainly empathize with your experiences and your desire to share how TBI survivors can live fulfilling lives…even though it likely will be challenging. I literally just started my blog this weekend because I was terrified about writing about my experiences. Would you be willing to give insight or advice for my blog? My website is here: https://themindreset.wordpress.com/. As a relatively young TBI survivor, I am so grateful for your voice.
Thank you!
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Thank you very much for writing. If you sustained a TBI from a fall, then that would make you a survivor, I believe. It’s not an easy path, but it is well worth it! There’s so much to learn, and so much to share. I believe that’s the whole point of this life — to learn, and then share.
I checked out your blog – you are off to a good start. We need more voices talking about resiliency. The design is clean, and it is well-organized. One suggestion I have is to put all your resources on just one page and not have a separate page for each type. From personal experience, I can tell you it gets to be a pain, keeping track of individual pages. People tend to be fine with just having one page to scroll through – and it’s easier for you to manage. As time goes on and you add more posts, you’ll find more things that work for you. Just keep learning and growing, and your blog will take on a life of its own.
Best of luck to you, and keep in touch.
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