Moving on

Earnings and taxes paid from 2005-2016
Earnings and taxes paid from 2005-2016

I’m done worrying about the whole neuropsych thing. Looking at my past earnings and taxes paid, I’ve been keeping steady since 2009, and I’m actually in a better situation now, than I was just a few years ago. That first couple of dips, right after my TBI, when my earnings fell through the floor, and my taxes actually exceeded my income (I had to hit my savings), got turned around pretty quickly. I’m not saying that I couldn’t have done it without help. But there seems to be an awfully strong connection between the time I’ve spent working with a neuropsych and prior to that. The money I’ve made has gone directly to helping others. So, it’s not like I’m sitting around getting rich. It would be nice if I could, but that’s not my goal. An awful lot of money has gone to everybody except me. I should probably change that pattern, I’m thinking…

The money’s just an outward indication of how well I’ve been doing, overall. I can’t even begin to tell you just how much better my thinking process is, just from talking with the right kind of professional with the right kind of mindset. Clearer thinking that doesn’t get dragged into my TBI-induced fog… that’s priceless.

It’s been great, having someone in my court, over the past 8 years, but at the same time, it hasn’t always been that great. There’s been a fair amount of aggravation and problematic stuff in my life that they haven’t helped with. I’ve taken care of those things myself — and never said a word to them.

I’ve looked to them more for professional insight on my situation, as well as my spouse’s. That’s been hugely helpful. But it hasn’t been without its pitfalls.

I know I’m not like the standard-issue patient. I’m independent, yes. I think for myself, yes. I keep my own counsel in may respects, and I don’t expect someone else to give me all the answers. I just look for others who have a specific set of domain expertise, so I can bounce ideas off them.

There aren’t many people like that in my world, on a regular basis.

So, having someone there with PhD level expertise and years of experience to round out their perspective, has really been very helpful.

I guess I’ll have to look somewhere else to find that kind of input. Connect with other people who can — and want to — discuss the role of the brain in cognition and behavior. It sounds obvious. Of course the brain is involved in cognition and behavior, but it’s the specific mechanics that really interest me. And I have yet to find others who share my fascination.

Maybe I just haven’t looked around enough. I’m sure that’s it. If I spent the same amount of time finding new connections that I usually spent with my NP (4+ hours, once a week), I’m sure I could expand my world. The problem is, those interactions would be unstructured, which is difficult for me to deal with. I need structure and a clear beginning and ending, to make the most of the time. I also don’t want to chat about this and that. I want to dig right into the “meat” of the subjects I’m addressing. I’m on a mission, and I need to interact with others who are as focused as I am.

So, what is my focus? Well, for years, it was both recovering from mild TBI and getting my life back on a track that I could be genuinely happy with. Maybe I’m an overachiever of sorts, but I can’t see why I should do any less than I’m capable of. I have a lot I want to accomplish, and that takes industrial-strength focus and determination. I’m hard-headed, that’s for sure, so that will carry me through a lot of situations. But I also need to be mindful of the ways that my brain tends to work against me.

Things like getting enough sleep. Eating right. Getting enough exercise.

And having some good support in place.

I still need to figure this one out. It’s all a work in progress. Maybe I find someone I can work with, maybe I don’t. I’ll give it a try today, and see what I can come up with. Make some calls. Do some research.

It’s all a process, anyway.



Author: brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who experienced assaults, falls, car accidents, sports-related injuries in the 1960s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. My last mild TBI was in 2004, but it was definitely the worst of the lot. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications since I was a young kid. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained those injuries… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

7 thoughts on “Moving on”

  1. Hi – from another independent, non standard-issue, person who wants to achieve more.. I found that the difference the neuropsychologists made, by providing a context, a framework, the touchstone of someone who for once was actually qualified to talk about what was wrong with me and how that worked – was immeasurable. Sometimes it would drive me crazy for a while – I couldnt understand the jargon or relate it to real life etc. I dont always manage to read all your posts, but I did notice that the latest neuropsychologist seemed to have a really positive effect on the clarity of your posts and your morale. therefore I would say it was well worth the money. It should be tax deductible dont you think? Necessary to enable you to work and be normally productive? I have the same issue of trying to find someone who will just talk with you, like a fellow adult, who happens to have good information. Depending on what I am focusing on at the time, i have found textbooks which answer some of my questions. sometimes they just use better words.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I stopped working just before my treatment(radiation to my AVM) however would be unable to go back to anything I’ve done previously. These days it is a full time job to maintain this level of independence. Cheers, H

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the idea – I’m considering it. I tend to be low on energy after work, and I have a lot going on during my weekends, so it’s hard for me to make the 1+ hour drive, each way. I’m branching out, though… seeing what else I can think of.

    Thanks again for writing.


  4. Thanks very much for writing. I think I’m going to look around for someone else who can work with me from a neuropsychological perspective. The money is just too much — $200/hour, plus all the time it takes to get there and back… It’s just not practical. And with the tax changes over the past few years, I can’t deduct as much as I could before.

    Thanks for mentioning the change to my clarity and morale. I think they have been very helpful in that respect. In other respects, they’ve been too rudimentary for my tastes. Too much talking about basic stuff, not enough discussion of bigger picture plans. And to be honest, they kind of bring me down a little bit. They seem to think less of my abilities than my old neuropsych. That’s interesting that you noticed a positive difference. Maybe I’ve been missing something.

    Anyway, thanks very much for confirming my approach. I was starting to think I’m the only one who wants to consult with a more highly trained professional. It’s helped me a whole lot more than most of the psychotherapists I’ve worked with.

    A LOT more.


  5. Something else occurred to me. I think my uplift in mood has been because of some other changes I’ve made in my life, over the last year. It might not all be due to this NP. If anything, I think the new one has been more of a problem than a help, in some ways. But they have still helped, and it’s been helpful to have someone with considerable expertise. I’m just not sure that they’ve been the sole source of that uplift.


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