Even when I’m having a good day, and I’m getting a lot done, and I’m interacting with a lot of great people, if I’m tired, it’s no good.
I’ve been tired a lot, lately. And it’s ridiculous.
I might be doing the best work of my life, for all I know, but the load on me to get things done, and be at my best when I’m literally unable to be that… well, it’s just ridiculous.
So, I’m giving myself a break today and working from home. I have a full day, packed with meetings that I will have to take on the phone, and it makes no sense for me to spend more than an hour today, driving to/from the office, when all I’m going to do is sit there on the phone, anyway.
I might even be able to get a nap, later this afternoon. All I need is 30 minutes to recharge. And it looks like I might be able to get that, later this afternoon.
That would make everything better.
Seriously, it makes all the difference in the world.
When I’m tired, nothing seems right. Everything seems wrong. And my reasoning is all “kaflooey”. I end up packing my schedule full of stuff that I really have no business doing — extra little side projects that seem like a fun idea. New skills I am somehow convinced I need to learn. Distractions and diversions that may be interesting at the time, but don’t help me move toward my end goals.
And then I wonder why I’m no closer to my destination, than I was six months ago.
It’s not rocket science. But when I’m tired, everything falls down.
Recently, there’s been some news about how sleep deprivation is as disruptive for brain function as alcohol use. It’s just not good for us, and especially for people like me, whose brains need even more rest than the average bear.
If anything has held me back in my life, it’s been fatigue. The demands of the world that constantly push me harder and harder, faster and faster, like I’m some kind of machine. The demands of family and co-workers to keep up, and do more and more with less and less. That’s how it is at work, these days. The more I do for people and the better I do it, the more they expect. And I’m really tired of it all — on every conceivable level. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and yes, spiritually as well.
But amazingly, getting extra sleep is like a magic elixir. I can function again.
I’ve been thinking that it would make more sense if I split my days into two sprints of 4 hours each. I get up early, work for 4 hours, then I take 4 hours of downtime, then I dive back into the last 4 hours, and then call it a day. Seriously, it would be so much better. And I suspect I’d be a lot less bitter and angry about everything. Even if I took 2 hours off in the middle of the day to eat, relax, and get a nap, it would really do wonders for me.
Just about every problem has a solution.
Time to try something new.