things are pretty much falling down for me, these days
i don’t want to complain, and i’ve done enough commenting about how things have been developing for me, over the past years
unfortunately, the things that i’ve poured myself into have not panned out
and it seems like pretty much of a waste
i’m not sure what the point is, in doing all of this
no matter how hard i try, things don’t seem to ever turn out the way i plan, or even the way i need
maybe in the short-term, it looks like it, but over the long term… nope
all the things that looked like they were doing great — it’s all very precarious and fragile, and it doesn’t take much to wreck something that took years to build up
so why bother building it up?
seriously, why bother? if everything is so precarious and so easily wrecked, why sink a lot of time into it?
it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me
so, i’m backing off on my investment in a lot of things around me
there’s too much that’s out of my hands and beyond my control
i have no use for people who set me up for failure, and i have no use for people who sit by and don’t lend a helping hand and watch others slip into oblivion
i have no use for people who profit from others’ failures
which means i have no use for a lot of the people in my life, these days
everybody wants something, yes
and what do i get in the bargain?
everything is falling down for me, right now
and i don’t even know if i care