One of the benefits of getting older, is that I’m finding out what assumptions I made about my life and future prospects were correct, and which ones were wrong.
One of the things I’ve realized is that it’s not solely IQ-type intelligence, it’s not raw physical strength, it’s not talent, it’s not social connections, and it’s certainly not money alone, that keep a person in the game for the long haul.
It’s a combination of all of the above, which add up to a sum total of hardiness. Just being able to stick it out, no matter what happens, and persevere. It helps to be smart, and you definitely have to learn from your lessons, as you go along.
Live and learn, or you don’t live long.
… as they say.
You need some measure of physical strength, and you need a talent for something. You also need social connections, and you need enough money to get by. It’s the combination of all of the above, plus a certain sense of purpose, an ability to find meaning in your life, that keeps a person going, growing, lasting over the long haul.
And that’s what I’m going for, these days. The whole package. Sum total. And then some.
For years, I thought the secret was to have one of the above in over-abundance, and it would make up for shortfalls in the other areas.
If I had extra intelligence, it could make up for lack of money and social connections. If I were socially connected, it would make up for lack of money and physical strength. If I had talents of some kind, it would cover for my IQ shortcomings post-TBI.
But chasing after “highs” in certain areas actually made things much more difficult for me. Because I was burning out, and my focusing on one area only (making money), I was coming up short with my strength and social connections. Concentrating only on building my physical strength also cost me extra money and took time away from building other talents.
A balanced approach is better, by far.
And that’s where I’m headed — especially in light of my TBI issues. Recovery is an additive thing; different parts of life combine and augment each other, and if I’m not getting the full range of exercise in my life, the whole deal suffers.
And that’s no good.
TBI recovery is a whole-person activity, and it continues through your whole life. I don’t think there’s every one time or place where we’re necessarily “recovered”. We can so easily slip back into thinking that our brains are still wired they way they used to be. Muscle memory, and all that. So, we have to keep on top of things and continue to adapt through the years.
But that’s a good thing. And if you think about it, that’s pretty much how life goes, no matter what your status or station in life. It’s just got to be more deliberate with us TBI survivors. See, we can have really excellent lives, even if our brain have been permanently changed. Life goes on. The human system continues to evolve.
Onward… Yes. ONward.
3 thoughts on “Hardy for the long haul”
Reblogged this on Traumatic Brain Injury There is Support.
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And I had put it down to my pure stubbornness and/or my this won’t beat me mentality!? Cheers,H
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Well, stubbornness has its place – and its advantages. For sure.