Not so angry, tired, or frustrated anymore – Who I was then, versus how I am now

train in rear-view mirror
Looking behind can help me move forward

I had a very productive weekend. A lot of folks tell me to slow down and do less, and it’s important to keep balanced. The thing is, I actually am able to keep balanced while doing more. Because I know how to do things in a pretty efficient way.

Plus, I have a ton of experience that I can use — and I do.

Only I do it much, much better than ever before.

Once upon a time, I was constantly driven to go-go-go, to do-do-do. It was a heady, exciting way to live. But it wore me out. I got tired. And then I lost sight of what I was doing and why I was doing it.

Of course, I had no idea that my history of TBIs was driving me, or how it was affecting me when I got tired.

Now I know. And now I can manage my energy levels — lie down and take a nap when I need one… get up and get to work, if I have the energy… and really pay attention to the things that mean the most to me, all along the way.

I think I’m still as driven as I was before. Maybe I’m even more driven…

  • To heal
  • To help
  • To make a difference in the world
  • To be a positive influence, no matter where I am
  • To make dreams come true, for myself and others
  • To really, really help

Because more is possible than anyone seems to believe anymore.

Yeah, I know… the world is in a mess. Political turmoil. Drama. Threats of war — or outright war. Territorial disputes. Money, power, influence, control. Everybody’s churned up, worked up, and telling tales of doom and gloom.

And I used to get so bent out of shape about things like this. As though there were anything I could do about it. And it wore me out. It tired me out, it made me anxious and agitated, and that was no good.

I had no idea how fatigue affected me.

So, I couldn’t manage it.

Angry, tired, frustrated. I was always that way. If I wasn’t all three of them (which was often), I was at least one of them.

And that was no good. It just stopped me at every turn — the fatigue, the agitation, the distractions.

Meanwhile, I had no idea why nothing ever worked out for me, long-term.

I thought about this a lot, this past weekend, as I was systematically working through my list of errands. Things I had to do for others. Things I needed to do for myself. I thought about all the years I spent working towards my dreams, only to have them fizzle out. And then never understanding why that was.

Now I know why it was. I got tired. Fatigued. And then I got distracted and scattered and angry and defeated.

I’m not blinded to that, anymore.

Now I know.

Now I can manage.

I don’t have to settle for less, anymore. I can actually finish things I’ve started.

And this is a very good thing.

Onward.

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Keeping the foundation solid

windrader foundationI’ve been doing better about taking care of myself, lately.

I guess I just got to a point where I realized that pushing myself constantly wasn’t paying off. I’ve always been driven. I’ve always been motivated. I’ve always wanted more and I’ve wanted to see what all I was capable of doing and being and becoming.

I’ve lost sight of the basics more times than I can count, but that gets old after a while.

So, I’m focusing on the basics. I’m keeping my routine going, getting my exercise every single morning — sometimes pushing myself a little harder, sometimes taking it a little easier — eating right, taking care of business as I go through my day(s).

The more I focus on the basics, the more I tend to my foundation, the stronger I am, the more stable I am. And it puts things in perspective.

It’s Friday. I got up early – couldn’t sleep, partly because of work excitement, partly because of being excited about the weekend. I’ve had a few hours of productive working on my projects. I solved a big problem that had stumped me for the past few days. I’ve had my breakfast. I’ve had my big glass of water. And I’m moving forward.

With my foundation in place.

Solid.

Stable.

Good.

It wasn’t always this way, of course. 13 years ago, my life was starting to fall apart. I’d gotten a nasty concussion about a year before, and I had no idea how it was affecting me. Things were just dissolving, and I didn’t understand just how much they were. All I knew was, life had gotten about 1000 times harder than it had ever been. All I knew was, I was stressed out more than ever, I was having so much trouble concentrating, I was emotionally volatile, my temper was all over the place, and life was increasingly impossible.

I nearly lost everything.

Nearly.

What turned it around was simple — focusing on basics. Developing a routine and using checklists to keep myself on track. Getting to know myself again and figuring out how to get through my day in one piece, without losing it over every little thing.

It was simple. But it wasn’t easy. It took constant work. It took sustained focus. It took years.

But it was worth it. And I found that taking care of the basics, being consistent (even boring) was the key to getting back… getting back to myself… getting back to my dreams… restoring my abilities that I’d thought were gone for good.

It was worth it.

And it continues to be.

Focus on the basics. Master the fundamentals. Keep working, keep refining, keep “iterating” from one improvement to the next… and stay steady. Don’t give up. Just be stubbornly committed to my goals and objectives.

And rest. Plenty of rest, good food, clean water. Restoration of my energy stores.

Keep on. I just keep on.

And it works.

Onward.

My last decent vacation in a good long time…

open book with a landscape scene in the pages
The way life goes, you never know how things will shape up. I’ve had so many hopes and dreams over the years, and so many times, I’ve been on the verge of really breaking through… then something happened. And that “something” was often a TBI.

I was just getting my act together in elementary school, finding my footing with my peers and getting involved in a special program for “gifted” kids and discovering what worked for me, when I got hit on the head and things changed. I became combative. Difficult. A behavior problem. So much for the gifted program. They showed me to the door on that one.

My family relocated, and I was finally figuring out how to interact with the people around me (who all talked with thick accents I could barely understand). Then I fell out of a tree and wrenched my neck. And I kept hitting my head while playing sports. Football. Soccer. Just playing outside. Hitting my head was routine. I can remember a number of really significant blows to my skull that disrupted my consciousness, but they happened against a backdrop of regular clunks on the head. It seemed like every time I got on my feet and started feeling like I had a grip on my life, I’d get hurt (again), and I’d be back at square one.

I eventually got out of my parents’ house and got on with my life. When I drank a lot, I fell down — a lot. I may have (probably) hit my head a bunch of times, but I don’t remember much from the 4-5 years after I left my parents’ home.  Those years that could have been some of my best (and in some ways, they were). They could have been years of exploration and learning and experience like no other, but instead they were mired in the muck of hangovers and all the confusion that comes from not knowing what happened the night before. A few scrapes with the law… being ostracized by my peers… some violent confrontations… making money by borderline means, just to get by… it was definitely an experience — that’s for sure. But it took me years to recover from the damage I did to myself.

After I was in the working world, driving to work each day, I got in a bunch of car accidents. They weren’t huge deals, mostly just fender-benders, but whiplash and getting clunked on the head didn’t help matters any. During years when most of my peers were getting on their feet, finding their way in the world, I was scrambling. Trying to catch up, after being set back. I got a job, then got hit by a speeding door-to-door salesman. I left that job without saying why. Just left one day and never went back. I relocated to a really great city, but just before moving, I got rear-ended and spent the next several months in a manic haze.

Years later, I had a pretty decent job with a lot of responsibility, then got tangled up in a 7-car pileup, and everything fell to pieces there, too. That worked out okay in the end, because I found a much better job and a completely different career track, but it did a number on my self-confidence, and it caused me to pass up a golden opportunity that my new manager laid at my feet (and begged me to take). I can only imagine how much more stable my life would be now, had I actually taken them up on it.

The last and most debilitating TBI was when I fell down a flight of stairs at the end of 2004. I was just 18 months away from having some investments mature, and if I’d been able to hang in there and keep up with my life, I could have repaired and paid off my house, gotten rid of my debt, and really solved a lot of logistical problems that are the kinds of things that only money will solve. None of that got solved. It all fell apart. And it’s taken me 12+ years go piece it all back together to just a semblance of how things once were.

So, what does this have to do with my current vacation (which is now drawing to a close)?

In the course of my life, I’ve never known just when everything would fall to sh*t. It’s partly me being oblivious, partly me not having a reliable crystal ball that lets me peer into the future. So, all those times when I just assumed I’d have time to do this, that, or the other thing… all those times when I thought I was set… all those times when I didn’t pay attention to what was Right In Front Of Me… in so many cases, they were the last hurrah for that part of my life. The last shred of self-confidence. The last vestiges of feeling competent. The last months of feeling like I could actually plan my future with certainty. The last weeks of being able to take certain things (like how my brain worked or how I’d react to experiences) for granted.

I didn’t savor those things when they happened, because I was too damn’ optimistic. Too oblivious to just how sh*tty life could get for me. Not experienced enough to realize that things could get That Much Harder for me in a moment’s time. I took them for granted. I didn’t wring every last bit of goodness out of them, while the goodness lasted. And now I just look back on a lot of wasted opportunities and chances I totally missed enjoying… all because I thought there would be another time that would be somehow better.

I don’t believe that anymore.

Especially not this morning.

From here on out, my vacations will probably be a lot more work than relaxation, a lot more frustrating than renewing, and a lot less worth it to me. But they’ll continue. Life goes on. Sh*t gets complicated. So it goes.

For today, I’m just going to enjoy myself. Because this might just be as good as it ever gets.

Well, not *exactly* time off…

construction cranes wtih a cloudy skyMost people think of vacation / time off, as an opportunity to kick back and relax, put the cares of the world on hold, and just float through life without a care in the world.

Those people, however, have very different lives from mine.

My “vacation” is a lot of work, actually. I’m off my routine, so I have to spend a lot of energy figuring out what’s next. Regular mealtimes and menu items are different. I’m fixing three meals a day for my spouse and me, instead of just breakfast for me, then supper for us both. I have to help my spouse get around, as they have limited mobility and need extra time and help just standing up and moving from place to place. Everything moves at a slower pace, and I don’t get as many spontaneous opportunities to discharge a lot of the energy I have.

And when I do kick into high gear, it disorients my spouse and they get pissed off at me for moving too fast.

So, I work around it. I have to. I go out into the day and run around. I sprint across parking lots. I lift and carry twice as much stuff as I normally do. I intersperse my slow times with intervals of bursting energy – flash, flash, flash – and then “back it down” for my spouse’s benefit.

Last time we took a week’s vacation, I lost a couple pounds, by the end of the week. So, it’s really not so bad.

It’s good to change up the routine, in any case.

And find peace where I can. Excitement where I can. Enjoyment where I can. Life for me is less about having things handed to me — like opportunity — and more about finding what I’m looking for when I need it. Seeing opportunity where nobody else does. Finding peace in the center of the storm. Making my own excitement.

It’s all a big swirl of potential, to me. My job is to find the experiences and the chances I’m looking for, in the midst of it all, and see what I can do to bring them to life.

That takes work. It takes concentration. It also takes patience and willingness to stick with things that put most people off. Needless to say, I’m up for it — and in the end, it’s an investment of my resources that truly pays off. My TBI recovery is a case in point.

So, while the fantasy of having a whole week “off” work is appealing, the fact of the matter is, I’m just trading one kind of work for another. But in the end, that’s how I want it. And even if I weren’t loaded up with all sorts of extra domestic things to do, I’d find other work to occupy me. That’s how I roll.

Onward.

I have the next week OFF

beach with ocean and "relax" drawn in the sand
Soon…

I’m leaving for a week’s vacation today. I have a handful of errands to run before we can get on the road, and then we are heading out to a waterfront town that’s full of art galleries and novelties shops and all sorts of great restaurants. We have a few restaurants that we really like, but mostly we avoid the crowds and excitement, buy Mexican or Chinese takeout and head for the beach for our own waterfront dining. It’s the best way — sitting in the car right at the edge of the water, having a nice filling meal that doesn’t cost a million bucks.

It’s going to be nice to get away. It’ll give me time to think, time to relax. I realize that I’ve been stuck in limbo with my life for some time. There’s been all kinds of drama in my immediate and extended family for the past 15 years — actually, longer than that. More like 40 years. And it’s really dragged me down, watching everyone go through their problems — me included.

But now, here I am, at a place in my life where I just don’t feel like I have the time to fritter away on feeling terrible about things that I can just take care of. I’ve learned a whole lot about how to deal with my TBI issues, and I’ve made an amazing recovery. So why not enjoy it?

Why not, indeed? I feel like I’m at a point in my life where I’ve learned more than enough hard lessons, I’ve been through my make-or-break circumstances, and I’ve made it through. I’ve paid my dues. Now it’s time to just enjoy my membership.

It’s funny… I don’t tend to think of myself as that old. I’m really not. But I have been knockin’ around on this planet for over half a century, and I’m kind of over the whole newbie experience. I’m not a newbie. I’ve been around the block plenty of times. And it’s about time I just settled into living my life and enjoying it, instead of constantly pushing myself to “take it to the next level”.

Please. What next level? No matter how hard I work, no matter how hard I push, there will always be another level ahead of me. So, why not just settle in and get the most out of the levels I reach? I haven’t done nearly enough of that over the years. And while it does keep me sharp and invested in my life, it’s also depleting and drags me down.

Eh, whatever. I’m going on vacation. I’ll probably blog a bit while I’m there. Just relax into it, do some writing, have a good time, while I’m at it.

And now… it’s time for more errands, as I prep for my 7-day escape.

Onward.!

Back at it…

lights streaming through darknessThe last few days have been extremely busy. Jam-packed with work, from 8 a.m. till 6 p.m.

And then I need to head home, buy supper on the way, make supper, eat supper, go to bed.

I’m tired of this. But I keep at it. Because it’s what I do, it pays the bills, and who knows what’s around the corner?

My work situation us changing – my group got moved to another organization, and now we find out (in a few months) how it’s all going to shake out. They will probably break up our group, because a small group of people do many things, each, whereas in the team we joined, people tend to have one job, not five (like I do, now).

They just have to figure out where to put us.

Personally, I’m fine with this. I hate how things are done in my current group. It’s too jam-packed. Too compulsive. Too frantic. My boss works pretty much ’round the clock, and the rest of us are expected to, as well. That just doesn’t work for me.

It’s fair to say, I have a very low quality of life, right now. Even though my job seems secure, my mortgage is paid, I have food on the table, etc. And I do a really good impression of someone who’s positive and upbeat and a “catalyst for change”.

I’m just exhausted. And it’s hard to see the point of much of anything, when I’m feeling this wiped out… all the time.

But still, I have to keep myself going, because nothing lasts for ever, and I might just be able to find a new situation in the new year. I’m hanging tight, for the time being, waiting this out… waiting till I get my vacation time under my belt… I have three separate weeks off, between now and the end of the year, and I’m going to take advantage of it.

Cut my losses. Keep the dread and drama to a minimum. Just keep going. Just keep puttering around at my little projects and side interests.

Just keep on.

Every now and then, I find something that lifts my spirits. But every Thursday and Friday, like clockwork, my mood begins to plummet.

So, that being said — since I recognize it and know it — I can actually work with that. Just don’t pay any attention to the unhappiness that nags at me.  Just don’t jump to conclusions about how feeling bad at the end of the week translates into having a terrible life. I don’t have a terrible life. I have a pretty excellent life, in fact. And I can’t let the surface feeling I get — the tarnish on the normally shiny surface of my life — dim my view of everything around me.

Grab a rag and shine it up. Realize there’s more to the story than how I’m feeling at this very moment. Do what I can, when I can. And live my life.

Onward.

Picking up the pieces on my own weekend “island”

desert island with two palm trees surrounded by seaI’ve got a long weekend ahead of me. What shall I do with myself? Three days off, with no appointments, no obligations, no requirements… what a luxury this is.

It’s almost like going to my own desert island. My spouse wants to take it easy, too. They’ve been doing a lot, lately, with events every weekend, and some additional events in between. They lead community gatherings — drum circles, song circles, gatherings where people share meals and life lessons — and it’s a lot of work. I used to attend a lot of them, myself. But it got to be too much. I already have a full-time job and a handful of side projects that keep me more than busy.

I prefer it that way, actually. Keeping busy, keeping engaged, making things, coming up with new ideas… that’s what keeps me young. Feeling young, looking young, living young. It’s a challenge, at times, because fatigue gets me down, that whole brain fog thing sets in, I get angry and agitated, and everything feels like it’s melting around me… falling to pieces. Just falling away. And at those times I sometimes just don’t care about anything. Just don’t. Can’t be bothered.

I’m at the point now, where I’m fine with not being busy. I look back on how things have been in my life for the past however many decades — okay, let’s call it 34 years, since that’s how long I’ve been majority age and in control of my own life — all the time I’ve spent on my projects, doing and doing and doing some more… making things, exploring… all that…

What’s it been for?

What have I accomplished? What have I truly gotten done? I do all this work, and then what comes of it? Clearly, I’m not rich and famous. I’m doing okay with a house (mortgage) and a fairly reliable late model car (and car payment), but I have no financial safety net, I’m not entirely secure about my future, and I just feel like crap so much of the time.

Not that feeling like crap matters… It can’t matter, because then I’d never get anything done. If I only did the things I felt like doing, I’d be homeless. Being in pain, being tired, being confused, being overwhelmed… that’s the price I pay for what I have, and if I let it get to me and give in to it, then everything falls apart. Part of me wishes I could fall back on my diminished state as a reason not to move forward. To file for disability (not that I’d get it, because I obviously am capable of working). I’d love to just check out for a while. Decide what else I want to do…

Well, I have three days to chill, so I’ll do that. I actually have more like 3-1/2 days, because everybody’s going to be gone as of noon, today, making a run for it for the last long weekend hurrah till the holidays. And we all know the holidays are no simple walk in the park, so do they even count as time off?

It’s all relative, of course. And things may be changing with my job, since my group got moved to a different organization. We’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, I’m submitting my resume for other jobs, not expecting much, but also not chasing after things. It never works out, when I chase. Plus, it’s exhausting.

So, this week is really for chilling out and giving myself some room to breathe. I can go out for walks down the road. Or I can stay in bed and read. Or I can sit around and watch movies all afternoon. Or I can spend extra time exercising, since I’ll have the time to spend. My choice. Time to take the pressure off, and just BE.

I got almost 10 hours of sleep, last night. Nothing short of a miracle, considering how little sleep I’ve been getting lately. I plan to get even more this weekend.

Onward.

The adventure continues.

Yeah, I just get tired…

sleeping monkeyAs much as I want to quit my job (and after the past month, I really do), I’m going to stay put, most likely.

I just get tired.

Very, very tired.

And when I’m wiped out, nothing is good, my productivity slips, I don’t feel connected to anyone or anything or any of the work I do. I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate the world.

Or, I get too tired to feel strongly about anything. And I just drift into a sense of meh.

And sometimes that’s the worst thing of all. Feeling strongly negative about anything is at least feeling something.

Meh… that’s feeling… nothing.

I wish I could bottle this feeling and sell it. I know a lot of people who spend good money trying to get to this state of numbness, feeling nothing. I’d be rich.

The weird thing about it is that the weather has been fantastic, lately. I’m far from the storms in Texas, and the autumn is now picking up speed. The days are getting shorter. The shadows are lengthening. It’s cool at night — cool enough to turn on the heat. I’ve been looking forward to these days for weeks and months, now… and yet, I find myself so tired.

Well, it’s only partly because of the season change. It’s also because of work. I have been so busy, just pushing and pushing to get things done. I haven’t had much time to think things through carefully — just in reaction mode all the time.

And then when I do have time to settle in and think… I’m all out of fuel. Wiped out. Zombie-fied.

Well, I have a long weekend coming up. And I’ll probably just check out tomorrow afternoon before the day is up. I may cut my day short at noon and go back to bed. Wish I could do that today, but I have a dr. appointment this afternoon, so there’s no rest for the weary. And then I have to join another couple of conference calls after the appointment.

Good heavens, how I’d love to just quit.

But not just yet. I’m really just tired.

FYI – Stress and cell phone addiction

child with smartphone sitting on a benchSmartphone addiction is real.

And it can also make TBI recovery more difficult by affecting your sleep and getting you cranked up into a constant fight-flight state. Not having a lot of “screen time” after a concussion is a good idea for a lot of reasons. This is one of them.

Thanks to Ken Collins for sending along this great research paper:

Exercise rehabilitation for smartphone addiction

Hyunna Kim*

Abstract

Internet addiction after launching smartphone is becoming serious. Therefore this paper has attempted to sketch out the diverse addiction treatment and then check the feasibility of exercise rehabilitation. The reason to addict the internet or smartphone is personalized individual characters related personal psychological and emotional factors and social environmental factors around them. We have shown that 2 discernible approaches due to 2 different addiction causes: that is behavioral treatment and complementary treatment. In the behavioral treatment, cognitive behavioral approach (CBT) is representative methods for changing additive thoughts and behaviors. Motivational interviewing (MI) is also the brief approach for persons not ready to change their behavior. Mindfulness behavioral cognitive treatment (MBCT) also the adapted treatment based on CBT. There are different types following the emphatic point, mindfulness-based relapse prevention (MBRP) or mindfulness oriented recovery enhancement (MORE). It is apparent that therapeutic recreation, music therapy using drumming activity, and art therapy are useful complementary treatment. Exercise rehabilitation contained the systematic procedures and comprehensive activities compared to previous addiction treatments by contents and techniques. Exercise rehabilitation can treat both physical symptoms at first and mental problems in the next step. So more evidence-based exercise rehabilitation researches need to do, but it is highly probable that exercise rehab can apply for smartphone addiction.

Keywords: Smartphone addiction, Exercise rehabilitation, Cognitive behavioral therapy, Complementary treatment

INTRODUCTION

The penetration rate of smart phones in Korea was recorded 67.6% as the world’s #1 in June, 2013. This is 4.6 times of the world average penetration rate, 14.8% and 10% higher than Norway ranked to second higher penetration rate (55.0%). In the case of 2012, the “Anypang game” craze was exploding in Korea. The daily number of that game was 10milion. It means almost every people using smart phone played the Anypang (Jung, 2012).

According to the “2011 Internet Addiction Survey” by Korea Internet Development Agency and Communications Commission, 8.4% of Korean people were heavily addicted to the smartphone. Smartphone addiction ratio is higher than the entire internet addiction. Problem is that 11.4% of 10 generation 10.4% of 20 generation was addicted to the smartphone.

The cause of addiction is enormous convenient mobile computing function of smartphone such as portable media player, high speed Wi-Fi mobile system. Smartphone carrying in the hand can access the internet more easily and conveniently than PC. Great variety of apps and games for smartphone are being made.

The general form of internet addiction can be divided into a game, chat, pornography, but the smartphone addiction can create a new addition category such as SNS or app addition. In addition to, in comparison with other media, smartphone require more intervention and activity by subject, immediate connectivity and social interaction as a game affect to the game immersion and addiction.

Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education surveyed the habit of using internet of middle school and high school students in March, 2013. As the results, 6.51% of the total number of smartphone users used the phone excessively. Among them, 4,585 students (1.81%) were risky users; they cannot done properly school work, interpersonal relationship and feel psychological anxiety and loneliness without using smartphone (Online news, 2013).

Smartphone addiction is not a personal problem. Addiction to smartphone has induced serious abuses problems more and more, especially to young students. This is the time to find the way to rehabilitate from the smartphone addiction at the national level. As reviewing the previous study about internet addiction, the addition research for rehab is relatively young is still establishing its basic treatment. In the case of addiction, except the pharmacotherapy, the behavioral approach to stimulate cognition and behavior has been applied typically. One of outstanding features employed in this device is that various treatments have been approved to help addicted individuals.

The commission on youth protection in Korea developed internet addiction treatment and addiction model in 2004. After 2005 they accomplished youth family camp for internet addiction and natural cure programs with Korea green culture foundation in 2007 (the Commission on youth protection, 2008). Analyzed the camp and other addiction program, there is growing body of attempts to cure the addiction not just focusing on the classical treatment.

Therefore this paper attempts to review the addiction treatments concerning general addiction and smartphone addiction from previous researches and offer the possibility of exercise rehabilitation for smartphone addiction.

INTERNET AND SMARTPHONE ADDICTION

What is smartphone addiction?

There are 2 types of addiction, one is drug addiction such as drug, alcohol and the other is action behaviors such as game, internet, even smartphone. Unfortunately, internet addiction is resistant to treatment, entails significant risks and has high relapse rates (Block, 2008). In case of smartphone, there are little research has been conducted. Smartphone addiction has many aspects that are similar to those of internet addiction and as such the internet addiction criteria must be considered when developing smartphone addiction criteria. So this study searched internet addiction treatment program for curing the smartphone addiction.

The terms Internet addiction were identified based on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, VI-TR definition of substance abuse and pathological gambling (America Psychiatric Association, 2000), but currently it described under the category of impulse control disorder, not otherwise specified.

Dr. Ivan Goldberg first coined the term internet addiction disorder (IAD) for pathological, compulsive internet use (Brenner, 1997). Internet addiction is an overarching term characterizing five problematic Internet-related issues: cyber sexual addiction, cyber relationship addiction, net compulsions, information overload, and addiction to interactive computer games (Young et al., 1999). Symptoms of internet addiction include social isolation, family discord, divorce, academic failure, job loss and debt (Young et al., 1999).

Causes and symptoms

Approached form the early previous studies, the research has offered the reason why people are addicted to the internet. Internet addiction have relevance to 3 factors, that is specific characteristics of the internet, personal psychological and emotional characteristics and social-environmental characteristics (Choi and Han, 2006; Kim et al., 2006).

Generally people who have psychological and emotional characteristics such as depression, loneliness, social anxiety, impulsivity, distraction (Kim, 2001) easily to addict the internet. The place where internet access, the degree of time to use internet, peer relationships parenting types are also associated the addiction.

Internet addition shakes physical and psychological problems. It provokes physical symptoms such as dry eves, carpal tunnel syndrome, repetitive motion injuries, wrists, neck, back and shoulders, migraine headaches and numbness and pain in the thumb and the index and middle fingers. As Young’s research (1999), fifty-four percent of Internet addicts report a prior history of depression; 34% with anxiety disorder; and 52% with a history of alcohol and drug abuse.

ADDICTION TREATMENTS

Behavioral treatments

Following the previous studies, personal factors may play a key role in internet use and the development of internet addiction. Adolescent personality traits that correlated positively with internet addiction included high harm-avoidance, reward dependence, low self-esteem, and low cooperation (Weinstein and Lejoyeau, 2010). Poor academic achievement might be associated with low self-esteem and with behavioral problems such as sleep disorders, aggressive or depressive symptoms, dropping out of school, antisocial personality disorder and alcohol abuse (Valdez et al., 2011). Adolescents with poor academic achievements usually received less respect from surrounding people, and poor academic achievement might be associated with low self-esteem and with behavioral problems such as sleep disorders, aggressive or depressive symptoms, dropping out of school, antisocial personality disorder and alcohol abuse. Those kinds of feelings and isolation would make these adolescents to go online in a search for sense of belonging and self-satisfaction.

Most studies have focused on the relationships between psychological characteristics and internet addiction (Choi et al., 2006). Classical treatment had focused on individual factors such as low self-esteem and aggressive and depressive symptoms. The main issue of classic treatment is how to change personal feeling and thoughts.

Cognitive behavioral approach (CBT)

CBT is the typical mental health care for develop psychological symptoms such as obsessive-compulsive disorder. CBT can assist the individual with internet addiction disorder to recognize thoughts and feelings causing person to inappropriately use the computer to meet personal needs (Orzack, 1999).

Generally, CBT is an efficacious method of treating substance abuse, depression and anxiety to substance abuse issues and drug addiction. .Further to this, there is evidence to suggest that the use of integrated approaches in dealing with depression and alcohol abuse have a higher rate of success (Baker et al., 2010; Magil and Ray, 2009).

The term of CBT first appeared in scientific literature in the 1970s based on Beck’s theory and has since become the treatment of choice for a broad spectrum of behavioral, emotional and psychiatric problems. To date it has been empirically tested for a range of issues including anxiety disorders, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorders, eating disorders and addiction (Frank, 2004).

CBT is a fusion of 2 distinct traditions in psychology. CBT addresses the interaction of thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and behaviors. It uses cognitive processing helps clients to recognize negative thoughts and behavioral strategies help them identify helpful and unhelpful behavior.

The role of CBT is to carefully identify the biased cognitive processes that influence behavior and decision making and to shed light on both the process of relapse and the states of mind and reaction that leave a person vulnerable to old solutions. There are 5 stages to change behavior overtime. That is pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, maintenance and termination. In the pre-contemplation stage, therapist focus to break the denial that a serious problem with computer uses exists. In the contemplation stage, individual recognize the need for change, but the desire to change may not be substantial and feeling or being overwhelmed may exist. In the preparation stage, the individual is ready to establish a plan to address the problem. The maintenance sate begins when the individual feels he or she has control over computer use and is putting less energy into the behavioral change. The final stage, termination has the goal to prevent relapse.

CBT is not only about making specific and identified changes to thoughts and behaviors but also making clients their own therapists. This will enable them to apply the learning developed in and between sessions to life in general.

Motivational interviewing (MI)

MI is a brief, patient-centered, directive approach that emphasized personal choice and responsibility. Generally, MI is the greatest challenges facing substance use disorders treatment agencies. Mostly person who are addicted to something, they deny the problem and do not seek rehabilitate. So for persons who not ready to change their behavior on their own, MI may help (Merlo and Gold, 2008).

Mindfulness behavioral cognitive treatment (MBCT)

Zindel Segal and colleagues found a possible solution in practice of ‘mindfulness’– a type of meditation that helps people decenter from negative thoughts and associated sad moods (Segal, Williams and Teasdale, 2011). MBCT appeared to prevent relapse in patients who had experienced three and more episodes of depression. Addiction is in essence a habit. The addicted person is believed to act automatically or ‘mindlessly’ with little real awareness of the cues and that trigger substance misuse. The idea of promoting mindfulness could thus prove to importance in tackling addictions (Frank, 2004).

Mindfulness-based relapse prevention (MBRP) is another name of MBCT. MBRP is psych educational intervention that combines tradition cognitive-behavioral relapse prevention strategies with meditation training and mindful movement. The primary of goal of MBRP is to help patients tolerate uncomfortable states, like craving and to experience difficult emotions. Mindful movement includes light stretching and other basic gentle movement.

Mindfulness oriented recovery enhancement (MORE) is adapted from MBCT for depression treatment manual. MBRP and MORE is also the program focusing on meditative approaches to coping with cravings, as well as education and training about how to identify and skillfully change or mindfully let be, mental processes like thought suppression, aversion, and attachment (Garlandet al., 2011).

Complementary treatment

Previous studies have documented that an adolescent’s family environment is highly predictive for adolescent internet addiction (Nam, 2008). Moreover, a number of studies in South Korea have found family factors that influence internet addiction among adolescents. There are many researches about the relationships between protective factors such as parenting attitude, communication, and cohesion within families and internet addiction among adolescents (Hwang, 2000; Kim, 2001; Nam, 2008).

Complementary treatments have more focused on the environmental factors and use diverse activity for cure the internet addiction. There are many studies for finding the specific effective activities like music, art and even exercise for decreasing the rate of smartphone addition.

Therapeutic recreation

Therapeutic recreation is the professional intervention for leisure life. Therapeutic recreation is the purposeful and careful facilitation of quality leisure experiences and the development of personal and environmental strengths, which lead to greater well-being for people who, due to challenges they may experience in relation to illness, disability, or other life circumstances, need individualized assistance to achieve their goals and dreams (Anderson and Heyne, 2012). There are many facilitation techniques for gaining the goal.

Few studies have examined the effect that a resource such as leisure activities might have on the relationship between stress and health among elderly men. Data from the Normative Aging Study (NAS) were used to examine whether specific groups of leisure activities (social, solitary, and mixed activities; activities performed either alone or with others) moderated the effect of stress on the health of elderly men and whether there were differences in this effect between bereaved and non-bereaved men. The sample of 799 men was divided into two groups: a group bereaved of family and friends and a group of non-bereaved. Hierarchical regression analyses compared an initial model, a direct effect model, and a moderating model. The results indicate that for both groups of men, mixed leisure activities moderated the effect of stress on physical but not mental health. Additionally, for the bereaved group, social activities moderated the effects of stress on physical health. The negative effects of life stressors (other than bereavement) can be moderated by engaging in leisure activities for both bereaved and non-bereaved elderly men. Implications of the findings for future practice and research are discussed (Fitzpatrick et al., 2001).

Family and outdoor activities along with participative and supportive parental monitoring reduce the tendencies. Parental monitoring is inhibitors of adolescents Internet addiction. Thus adolescent should be supervised and monitored in their daily routines and encouraged to participate in family and outdoor activities. Further, adolescents should develop a positive attitude toward leisure and the skills to deter overdependence on online relationship (Chien et al., 2009)

Internet addicts can be a form of wrong leisure pattern. Internet addicts often encounter time-management problems. This means unbalanced time allocation and leisure boredom and unsatisfaction from unpleasant leisure activities may be motivated to seek another alternative – The Internet.

The high risk game addicted people not much leisure activity with families compared to low risk game addicted people. The more they addicted to the game, the more they want to get recreation activities or hobbies. They answered to participating leisure activity with friends (46.4%) or families (27.6%). 65.3% of young juvenile addicted the game want to participate family leisure activity. Unusual thing is students who are rich or have highly educated parents also were addicted to the game.

Music therapy: Drumming activities

Recent publications reveal the substance abuse rehab. Program has incorporated drumming and related community and shamanic activities into substance abuse treatment (Michel, 2003).

Drumming circles have important role as complementary addition therapy, particularly for repeated relapse and when other counseling modalities have failed.

Drumming enhances hypnotic susceptibility, increase relaxation and induces shamanic experiences (Mandell, 1980). Drumming and other rhythmic auditory stimulation impose a driving pattern on the brain, particularly in theta and alpha rages. Physiological changes associated with ASC facilitate healing and psychological relaxation: facilitating self-regulation of physiological processes: reducing tension, anxiety, and phobic reactions: manipulating psychosomatic effects; accessing unconscious information in visual symbolism and analogical representations; including interhemispheric fusion, synchronization and facilitating cognitive-emotional integration and social bonding affiliation (Mandell, 1980).

Art therapy

Park et al. (2009) applied the art therapy to game addiction juvenile for improving the self-control techniques. As a result, hostile attitude was decreased and social interaction with peer group and family members was increased.

THE APPLICABILITY OF EXERCISE REHABILITATION

Exercise rehabilitation has the evidence-based exercise science knowledge to address a wide range of physical and psychological problems. It use exercise programs for patient rehabilitation based on exercise science. It follows the scientific process. In the clinical subfield, baseline such as physical capacity, health information, medical history, work status, previous exercise experience need to be set. After assessment, supervised rehabilitation sessions conducted for achieving the stated goals. Exercise rehabilitation aims to recover not only musculo-articular rehabilitation after surgery, chronic pain or fatigue, neurological or metabolic conditions but also even psychological conditions such as depression and anxiety.

Smartphone addiction is psychological disorder appearing physical and psychological signs and symptoms. The person who addict the internet or smartphone not do much physical activities, they generally disregard their health, and also negative physical signs like carpal tunnel syndrome, poor posture, backaches, migraine headaches, poor personal hygiene, irregular eating, sleep deprivation, eye strain, dry eyes, lack of sleep can affect immune functioning and hormone secretion patterns, cardiovascular and digestive pattern (Diane, 2005).

Exercise rehabilitation can employ the first goal for recuperating their physical health on the surface. Moreover if they indulge in specific exercise program such as horseback riding or exercise gymnastics, treatment can be going on to the second stage. Mindfulness program is also based on yoga or physical activity for meditation. Exercise rehabilitation could seek mental changes through feeling of confidence, satisfaction, and new feeling of happiness.

DISCUSSION

There are many reasons to addiction, internet accessibility is also one of the most decisive factors for overuse by college students (Anderson, 2012; Lin and Tsai, 2002). When access is free and easy, college students tend to be vulnerable to becoming addicted to the internet (Kandell, 1998). In South Korea, anyone have easy internet access due to the nationwide internet infrastructure and may be vulnerable to pathological internet use. So fair is not fair internet and smartphone addiction. We need to regulate the internet and smartphone access.

To date, the Youth Internet Addiction rehab program was composed of classical treatment represented the behavioral and cognitive-behavioral approaches focusing on aware of the risk and severity about internet addiction, and learning the way to regulate their emotions then adjust their behaviors. In response to the increasing risk of internet addiction and its negative consequences, there is a need to explore intervention models. Unfortunately, a survey of the literature shows that there are settled only a few treatment programs for internet addiction, such as CBT and MI interventions, group therapy with a combination of Readiness to Change (RtC), (Orzack et al., 2006), as well as Reality therapy group counseling programs.

We examined by references about complementary treatment using many activities for curing the internet addiction rehabilitation based on the environmental addiction factor. Therapeutic recreation is much interested on the family leisure types, music therapy using drumming activity are hypnotic susceptibility, increase relaxation and induces shamanic experiences.

Exercise rehabilitation is not much utilize the internet addiction until now, but if given that young student were most addicted to the internet, exercise rehabilitation can be the efficient activity they want to participate and also help to grow their health and mental status.

CONCLUSIONS

This paper has attempted to sketch out the diverse addiction treatment and the feasibility of exercise rehabilitation. To capitulate briefly, we have shown that 2 discernible approaches: behavioral treatment and complementary treatment. The standard to divide the treatment for addiction have drown from the addiction path and causes. There are 2 factors to causing the addition; that is personalized individual characters and environmental factors around them. CBT is representative of classical methods for changing additive thoughts and behaviors. MI is also the brief approach for persona not ready to change their behavior. MCBT also the adapted treatment based on CBT. There are different types following the stressful point, MBRP or MORE. It is apparent that therapeutic recreation, music approach using drumming activity and art therapy are useful complementary treatment. In general terms, it is highly probable that exercise rehab can apply for smartphone addiction.

The argument which is the best program between behavioral treatment and complementary treatment is waste of time. What remains to be determined by the future research is the evidence-based certain addiction study revealing the significant factors. Exercise rehabilitation program can also one of main program for smartphone addiction but considerable work needs to be done.

Footnotes

CONFLICT OF INTEREST

No potential conflict of interest relevant to this article was reported.

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Articles from Journal of Exercise Rehabilitation are provided here courtesy of Korean Society of Exercise Rehabilitation

From J Exerc Rehabil. 2013 Dec; 9(6): 500–505.
Published online 2013 Dec 31. doi: 10.12965/jer.130080
PMCID: PMC3884868

When things don’t turn out… as expected

sunset and clouds reflected in waterI can be really miserable to live with, when I wake up after a nap. Especially if I’ve slept more than 30 minutes. Resetting my system to regular life after being “down” is difficult.

A tired brain is an agitated brain, and that’s certainly true for me. Ever since my mTBI in 2004, I’ve been much more prone to anger when I’m tired. It’s neurological. And it’s not much fun.

Yesterday, I was pretty tired. And I was pretty agitated last evening. Cranky. Fighting over every little thing. Grousing and grumbling and having trouble with basic communication. Yelling was my default mode, last evening.

And we were supposed to be on vacation… My spouse and I had a 5-day vacation planned at a waterfront resort about 3 hours from our place. We’d planned on leaving at noon on Thursday, getting there around 3:00… unpack the car, go grab an early supper, and watch sunset over the water. Then we’d turn in, and have the next four days to chill out.

Well, none of that actually happened. My spouse couldn’t get up till noon — too tired. Okay… I adjusted. It did give me time to catch up on my own chores, packing, preparations. The three-hour drive turned into a 5-hour meander through the countryside, which was actually really nice. The weather was gorgeous, and we stopped at a little scenic spot where we relaxed and napped. So, I got about 30 minutes of sleep, which was great. I didn’t even realize how tired I was, till I put the seat back in the car and closed my eyes.

When we woke up, we drove to the resort town, stopping along the way to get some hot soup, which was delicious. It was getting late, so we skipped going to the condo and went right to the beach, where we watched an amazingly beautiful sunset that lasted for an hour, with the amazing afterglow.

Then we drove around some more, exploring the surrounding countryside in the dark. That might sound strange, but we love to do that. There are woody areas where wildlife comes out — we’ve seen foxes, coyotes, bats, raccoons, opossums in those woods, and we always like seeing what happens. We actually did see two big coyotes — one of them ran out in front of the car, but I braked in time. Whatever they’ve been eating, they’ve been well-nourished, that’s for sure.

We picked up some groceries at the local supermarket, then went on to our condo. The management folks just left the door open and a key on the dining room table. I parked in temporary parking and commenced hauling our 12 bags up the flight of stairs to the upstairs unit. We’d packed 5 clothing bags, 2 bags of books and laptop, 4 bags of food we brought, and one bag of beach shoes. That wasn’t counting the clothes on hangers or the beach supplies — we like to travel comfortably, and we also like to have our own food, so there’s always a lot to carry in.

My spouse was moving slowly, since they’ve got limited mobility, so I had everything in the unit before they got into the condo.

When they got inside, however, something was amiss. There was a strong chemical smell — and in fact, there was a sign out front announcing work being done by painters — interior and exterior. My spouse started to have a really bad allergic reaction, sneezing and coughing and throat closing up. It was really bad. We opened all the windows and got some fans running, but after an hour of that, it was clear that we weren’t going to be able to stay the night — or the whole long weekend.

So much for vacation.

There was no way we could stay. I was also starting to get a sick, throbbing headache, which wasn’t good. If a migraine gets hold of me, that’s pretty much the end of me, for days to come. Neither of us could chance it. So, I hauled our 12 bags back down to the car, we closed up the place, and came home.

We got  home around 2:00 a.m., which wasn’t bad, actually. And I got in bed by 2:30. I slept till around 8, so that was better than some nights, lately. I’ve been having trouble sleeping, so actually, Thursday night was kind of par for the course.

Except Friday I woke up even more exhausted than usual. Doing all that driving — about 8 hours, give or take — and packing and caretaking and attending and adjusting… it just took it out of me, and 5.5 hours of sleep didn’t patch things up. I had a little 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon, but again, that didn’t do much for me.

So, by Friday night, I was pretty agitated. I was off my regular schedule, which is always a challenge — even if it’s for doing fun things. And I was tired. And my spouse was upset about having to leave. I personally didn’t care about leaving. Vacations with them are never, ever relaxing. It’s one request after another, constantly helping them with… everything. Their mobility has gotten worse and worse, and their thinking is not great. They have not taken good care of themself, mentally, emotionally, or physically, and after years of neglect, it’s all coming to a head.

The whole experience is pretty crushing, actually. Watching someone you love with all your heart decline… and being helpless to stop the downward slide… that’s not my favorite thing. At all. There’s so much they could be doing, so much that we’ve discussed them doing, so much they intended to do, but can’t seem to do by themself… it just doesn’t get done. And they get worse and worse off, as time goes on. I have no idea how much longer this is going to go on, but when it’s all over, I doubt I’ll have any interest in re-marrying. It’s just one long slog for me, and I need a break.

But so it goes, sometimes. I’m not the first person to watch their beloved decline before their very eyes. But it still takes a lot out of me.

And that was probably one of the things that got to me so much yesterday. I was tired, yes. I was agitated, yes. And I was also heartbroken that my spouse can’t keep up. Through the results of their own choices, their own actions. It’s crushing to see that — and realize that you probably care about your beloved more than they care about themself.

But like I said, that’s how it goes, sometimes. I’ve had friends whose spouses completely bailed on taking care of themselves, too, and I’ve watched them either get divorced or just fade away. I’m in the latter category. I’m not getting divorced — I don’t have the heart to do that, just bail on my ailing spouse. I’m just going to watch all this slowly fade away.

And take care of myself in the process. Because I still have a lot of life in me, and I’m not about to let someone else’s choices bring me down. We all have choices to make, we all have ways we can help ourselves. I can’t always help others — even the person closest to me — but I can certainly help myself.

And so I shall.

Whatever else happens.