Wow – I actually got some sleep last night

sleeping monkeyWell, that was unexpected. I counted up how much sleep I got last night, and it was 9.5 hours. Amazing. After getting 4.5 hours the night before, and 5.75 hours the night before that… This is pretty cool.

Actually feeling like I got some sleep – which isn’t the same as being fully rested (I’m not)… it’s something I could get used to.

I keep thinking / talking about sleep, because it’s so vital – especially for those of us with TBI/concussion issues. A tired brain is an agitated brain. And being agitated on top of all the COVID stuff is just not good.

I suspect that a lot of the issues people have been having around the pandemic and the lockdowns and everything have been exacerbated by underlying physiology. Mentally, we can understand that we need to play it safe. But physically, we get tired – so tired – and for a lot of us, that means our brains stop working the way we need them to.

And when our brains stop working the way we need (and expect), then we can get into a “crisis of self-hood” as I think of it. When we don’t have the same kinds of reactions we expect to have, we can lose touch with our Sense-Of-Self, and that adds to our stress.

It’s not just TBI that scrambles that. It’s hardships that exacerbate our TBI issues. And when you’ve been in recovery for an extended period of time, it can be easy, so easy, to lose touch with the fact that yeah, you’re still impacted. And yeah, your brain still struggles. And yeah, it affects everything in life.

Which is why getting some sleep thrills me so much. Because it means my brain and body actually have a chance to recover and get back to some baseline of at least some competency. And after weeks and weeks and months and months of doing without a level of competency I used to be at before this pandemic hit… well, that’s pretty cool.

Wow. Amazing.

 

It feels so good to sleep

This pandemic has been messing with my sleep. I don’t get a solid 7-8 hours each night, like I used to. Now I’m lucky to get 6.

But now that I’m working from home, I can take naps in the afternoon, so that’s what I’ve been doing.

Thomas Edison hours. Sleep 4 hours, get up and work like a crazy person for 3-4 hours. Sleep 4 hours, then get up and work like a fiend.

There are worse things, I suppose.

I’ve also taken to just lying down and sleeping as early as I like. I nap a few hours after supper, then get up and shut the lights out and go to bed.

And it feels so good to sleep. It’s the only break I get, these days. And I need a break.

The really stupid thing that got me back on this blog…

lightning striking inside a headLast week, I was on a call with a life coach who was pitching their neuro-based approach to peak performance. They’re a trained neuropsychologist, and they had a handful of ways to “hack” the brain so you can basically flip the switch on your success. Super-charge it. Turn it on in ways that we usually instinctively turn it off.

Okay, great. I’m always up for ways to do that. I’ve been doing it, myself, for years, using neuropsychological principles.

But a couple things jumped out at me during that call, that seemed really really stupid. And I don’t mean “stupid” in a way that belittles people with cognitive difficulties. I mean it in the way that professionally trained people who should know better are leading people down a path that goes directly against what they should know, due to their professional training.

Before I go on, let me say that one of the things that discouraged me from keeping up this blog has been all the professional input about concussions, over the past several years, that has not helped. There’s a whole “concussion industry” that’s giving people really mixed messages – from people who have never sustained mTBIs or other sorts of brain injuries (that they’re admitting, anyway). And it’s made it all the harder to have a conversation about what mTBI is, how it affects you, and what you can actually do about it. I mean… I just don’t know where to start.

More on that later. Let’s get back to the professional stupidity.

Okay, so I was on this call, and the neuropsych was telling people that we can turn our lives around by breaking mental barriers. Find something that you’re afraid to do, and do it over and over and over again, using “exposure therapy”. Address your core beliefs about who you are and what you think you can do. Overcome those beliefs by not telling yourself over and over that you can’t do something. Use visualizations to “pre-wire” your system for success. And get comfortable with uncertainty.

All sorts of alarms went off with me on this, especially because the person talking admitted to having been very close with someone who had sustained a TBI years before they met them, and they had ignored the warning signs of suicidal thoughts… they’d even encouraged them to just take some anti-depressant meds — the very same meds which will set off someone with a history of TBI. Long story short, just after they told their friend to take some meds, that friend killed themself. Traumatic, to be sure.

And just as traumatic was the idea that someone who was trained as a neuropsychologist was telling someone to do something (take meds) that even I, from passing conversations with a neuropsych, know can be hugely problematic for a brain injury survivor.

Not only that, but this person was positioning themself as an expert in brain topics, immediately after revealing this massive “tell” about just how clueless they were/are.

Um. Okay.

And then they proceed to talk about how doing things like facing your fears, visualizing, and self-talk will get you on the right track and turn your life around.

Well, okay, so for a lot of people it will do that. But for someone with underlying physiological neurological issues (e.g., someone whose wiring has been rearranged by concussion/traumatic brain injury), those things will only go so far.

It would have been much more helpful, if they’d called out the fact that people with organic/physiological brain issues operate by different rules. And we have to live by those rules, day after day, if we’re going to be able to do things like visualize and self-talk our way to success.

Things like:

  • Get enough sleep
  • Drink enough water / stay hydrated
  • Get regular exercise
  • Find ways to calm down the over-active and easily amped-up system
  • Keep your blood sugar steady by eating decent meals regularly (and stay away from junk food)
  • Have a daily routine that reinforces your understanding of who you are and what you can reasonably expect of yourself, day after day.

If we TBI survivors don’t take care of the basics — food, water, sleep, routine — nothing else is worth much. At all.

And my heart aches for all the people (like me) out there who are being told, each and every day, that their failures are due to bad messages they’re giving themselves, or letting their fear run their lives. I think it was such a waste for the neuropsych’s friend to lose their life (in part) because of the terrible advice that they should have known better than to give. I also get so sick and tired of people lecturing me/us about how we just need to get our attitudes aligned with the right sort of mentality, and then our lives will dramatically change for the better. Never mind the underlying issues with fatigue and irritability and not knowing what the h*ll to expect from ourselves and our systems, from moment to moment, because our brain injury has turned us into someone we don’t recognize anymore. We’re being blamed for results that stem directly from our organic/physiological situation, without anyone even admitting that getting your wires crossed by a car accident, a fall, an assault, or a tackle gone wrong, can and does have an effect on your brain’s function.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do believe that pretty much all of us spend way too much time being afraid and telling ourselves the wrong things about ourselves and our chances. We don’t do enough of the kinds of things that can and will make us successful.  And we generally don’t have the right mentality that sets us up for success.

But none of those performance-enhancement approaches are going to get much traction, if we don’t address the physical facts of our neurological situation. Failure is not all in our minds. It’s also in our brains. And until we learn to support / heal our brains and do the things we need to do — regularly, routinely, predictably — all the self-talk in the world isn’t going to be much help. At all.

Until we get ourselves on a good schedule – and stay there – eat the right foods (for us), drink enough water, exercise on a regular basis, and get decent amounts of sleep on a regular basis… Until we develop a new Sense Of Self that tells us who we are and what we can expect from ourselves… Until we redefine ourselves in ways that are solid and predictable… those mentality tactics are just going to be all in someone’s mind.

And the fact that a neuropsychologist was spouting all this stuff without prefacing their talk with a disclaimer… well, that just pisses me off. If they’d said something like, “What I’m about to share is intended for people without underlying neurological issues, some of which may have been sustained a long time ago, but are still having an impact in you life”, it would have set much better with me.

But they didn’t. So, there we are.

Oh, well. It’s a beautiful Sunday, and I have another 24 hours till I have to be ON for work again. So, I might as well enjoy myself. This isn’t the first time this sort of professional stupidity took the steering wheel. And it certainly won’t be the last.

Life goes on.

So, onward.

The one sure way I can tell I’m not feeling well, physically

Exercise turns on my brain – in more ways than one. So does this blog.

I tend to have a hard time figuring out when I’m not doing well, physically speaking. When I’m in pain, or when I’m not getting my exercise, or I’m generally not feeling great in my body.

I can get so wrapped up in my life — like for the past three weekends, when I had so much to do, and work was full of pressure — that I don’t get regular exercise, and the pain starts to bother me… including headaches. But I’m so busy, I don’t notice. It’s all I can do, to keep up.

Of course, eventually, I don’t keep up. I get bogged down. My head doesn’t work right. My thoughts are scattered and unreliable, and I stop using my adaptations to make sure I’m okay.

The one sure way I can tell when I’m headed off the rails, is when I don’t blog here. It doesn’t take me long to write a post. It takes 10-20 minutes to put something together. And I have more than that much free time, each morning, the way I’ve structured my days. If I can’t spare 10-20 minutes to write something here, then my life has really taken a turn for the worse, and I need to get myself back on track.

That means… exercise. Like I did this morning. I had an extra-long bike ride, then I did an extra set of lifts with my little weights. And while I was doing that, I thought about how I can get more weight lifting (with machines) in my life. There are some great gyms at the different buildings of my work campus, and one of them has a pool. So, I need to avail myself of the resources and take steps. Because I’m gaining weight, losing muscle tone, and my thinking has not been as sharp as I’d like it to be.

If I can manage to blog here regularly, it means my executive function is firing on all cylinders. It means I have enough energy to get into my day. It means I’m being pro-active and taking initiative in my life. It means I have left myself some wiggle room to do what needs to be done, and that’s exactly what I need to in my daily life.

I’ve been letting myself get too tired, lately. Work has been very, very busy, and also stressful. Long hours, especially every other weekend when we have software releases and I need to work overnight hours. This weekend is one of those times, and after starting work at 8:00 a.m. yesterday, I was till 4:00 a.m. this morning, working on problems that other people caused.

I’m not in a position to change jobs, right now, so I just have to tough it out… or look for another position at the company, so I don’t have to get dragged through the horror of outside interviews and having to prove myself all over again. Toughing it out and managing things as they are is actually more appealing to me than switching positions, at this point. I like most of the people I work with. Some of them make me crazy, but most of them I love… and they love me. So, there’s that.

Can’t put a price on love, you know?

Anyway, I’m a little delirious after getting only 4 hours of sleep last night (and I need to check in later today to see how things are going with work). I just need to get back in tune with myself and get myself back on track about my physical health and my mental state — support the body, and the brain will follow suit, is what I say. That’s always been the case with my TBI-addled brain. Not until I got into regular exercise and focused on taking care of my body, did my brain start to cooperate… and heal.

Until then, all bets were off. And I was miserable.

So, it’s better if I get my act together and get my exercise back on track. And keep blogging here. Each and every day. Or at least as often as I can manage.

Concussion / mild TBI recovery is not only possible, but highly likely. As many people need to know this as I can tell in one lifetime.

ONward.

UPward.

The up-sides of the down-sides

construction worker with ratchet on a steel beamIt’s been a wild couple of days. I had to work overtime twice in two days, which meant I was up from 4 a.m. on Tuesday morning till 3 a.m. yesterday, and I was working intensely for most of that time. We had a big project we had to get done, and we were missing two people on the team, since they had previously scheduled vacation and the big project’s schedule got changed to the worst possible dates.

Oh, well. We just had to deal with it.

And deal with it, I did.

I got 90 minutes of sleep between the two marathon testing sessions, and that was it. Half the time, I felt like I was dead on my feet, and my brain was mush. I was doubled over in pain, part of the time, because of eating the wrong stuff to keep my energy up, which led to digestive problems.

I have to be honest – it was pretty rough. But I got through it. And I ended up lasting longer than just about everybody else, which is typical. One of the upsides of dealing with fatigue and confusion and pain all the time, is that when things get really rough, all across the board, I can  — and usually will — persevere. I can stick it out and still perform. Because I’ve had plenty of practice. I know how to do it, because I do it, every single day, pretty much.

I’m usually tired, usually brain-fogged, usually struggling a bit at something or another. That’s pretty much the cards in the hand I’ve been dealt, because even if I weren’t dealing with TBI issues, I’d still be pushing myself — always harder, always farther, always faster. That’s just how I am. I’m not all that competitive against others. I’m mainly competitive against myself, and I always want to see how much better I can be, how much I can improve.

That’s just how I’m built.

So, of course, I’m going to experience these kinds of stresses and strains, these challenges, these difficulties. And when I’m called upon to kick in and contribute, I’ll do that to the max. To the utmost. I’m not going to hold back. It can be a problem, of course, because I can push myself too hard and overextend myself, but I’m aware of that risk, so I do something about it.

Bottom line, all the difficulties I’ve been up against, over the course of my life have strengthened and sharpened and honed me to this point. And even if I’m not as sharp and strong and honed as I’d ideally like to be, I’m still able to persevere, to hang in there. To stick it out and really do my best, no matter what.

That’s a huge up-side, for me and everyone around me.

And it makes the down-sides manageable.

It’s all part of it.

Onward.

Unless we understand #TBI / #Concussion, we can’t really treat it

I’ve been more absent from this blog, this month, than I’d intended. Life… you know? It’s been very busy at work, and things are shifting with my role. I’ve had some additional training and workshops, and I’m still trying to figure out where I fit in.

Fortunately, I have help. There are a lot of folks at work who are eager to step in and pull people up to the level they need to be at. I’m not the only one who’s having some challenges navigating the new organizational structure, but fortunately, the expectation is that each and every one of us is going to have challenges and struggle somewhat.

So, that’s helpful, overall.

Getting support at work frees me up to get back to my mission: To write about long-term recovery from concussion / mild traumatic brain injury, and show that it is possible to restore your life after you’ve sustained a brain injury. There is a real dearth of information about this out in the world, and I’m (still) on a mission to do something about that.

I realize that all my … “gyrations” at work have distracted me from this mission. It’s been siphoning off all my energy and distracting me, which is the opposite of what I want and need. So, I’m settling down in my job, chilling out, and looking to my long-term future… 10… 15… 20… 30 years in the future.

And that frees me up to concentrate on the here-and-now with greater focus. It lets me get back to my mission.

The other day, while researching a post, I came across this article:

New Advice to Move More After a Concussion

When young athletes sustain concussions, they are typically told to rest until all symptoms disappear. That means no physical activity, reading, screen time or friends, and little light exposure, for multiple days and, in severe cases, weeks.

Restricting all forms of activity after a concussion is known as “cocooning.” But now new guidelines, written by an international panel of concussion experts and published this month in The British Journal of Sports Medicine, question that practice. Instead of cocooning, the new guidelines suggest that most young athletes should be encouraged to start being physically active within a day or two after the injury.

“The brain benefits from movement and exercise, including after a concussion,” says Dr. John Leddy, a professor of orthopedics at the Jacobs School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences at the University at Buffalo, and one of the co-authors of the new guidelines.

And it makes sense to me. Because when you think about concussion / TBI in terms of what it is (an injury that disrupts connections and releases a bunch of “gunk” into the brain that shouldn’t be there), and you think about the brain in terms of what it does (processes information based on connections and makes new connections where none existed before), and you think about how the body works (moves all of that information through  – mentally and physically), then cocooning probably isn’t the thing to do for long periods of time.

TBI is a tricky thing. It’s different for everyone, of course, and something that works for one person might not work for another. But we’re all walking around in human bodies, and those human bodies function pretty much the same way.

So, if we use the principles of how the body and brain work, and we understand the nature of concussion, and we understand the dynamics of the whole scenario, new treatment approaches become clearer.

It surprises me a little bit that it took till May, 2017, to figure out how to better treat concussions. Then again, until the past 10-15 years or so, people didn’t really take “mild” traumatic brain injury that seriously. Everybody just laughed it off like it was no big deal.

Then we started to realize that onetime football players were ending up in a bad way — worse than the general public. And football players and their families started going public about their struggles. And people started talking — out loud — about stuff that used to be a source of terrible shame and embarrassment. The kinds of stuff that “you just didn’t talk about”, back in the day.

A lot has changed, thanks to research and increased awareness.

And we’re making progress in many areas.

But still, it surprises me, how much we don’t know… how much we still overlook… and how many people continue to struggle, months and years after a concussion or mTBI.

I have my own struggles, sure. A lot of the problems I had haven’t gone away completely. But after all these years of actively working on solutions, I’m doing a whole lot better at managing them, and that’s made all the difference. Maybe it’s true that brain injury can never be reversed, but then, life can never be reversed, and if we treat concussion issues as just another aspect of life that needs to be taken seriously and managed appropriately, it is very possible to have a “regular” life afterwards.

Sure, you’ll have to change some things. You’ll have to adjust. But life is full of those kinds of requirements. We don’t get a “pass” when we get injured, and the world jumps in to protect us. We just get a different set of challenges and difficulties and benefits to work with.

That being said, mental rigidity is probably one of the biggest hurdles to TBI recovery. The very black-and-white thinking that takes over when your brain gets injured can cause the injury to become even worse. Because you’re locked in a straitjacket of limited thinking. Getting your mindset out of the box and trying different things, living differently, getting on with your life, and being mindful about stuff… that can help hugely. I know it helped me more than I can say.

So, there are just a few more days left in Brain Injury Awareness Month. I’ve fallen far short of my stated plan to focus on brain injury recovery for the duration. I had such great plans… But of course… life. And my limits.

Turns out, what I’m taking away from Brain Injury Awareness Month is a reminder of how — yet again — I need to adjust my commitments and expectations and go a bit easier on myself. The thing to remember is that life goes on. And while I didn’t live up to my own expectations, the world keeps turning, the sun rises and sets, it snows and the snow melts, and the songbirds return to my bird feeder.

For today, that’s enough. It’s more than enough.

No sooner do I say I need more movement, than my day fills up with meetings

brain with arms and legs walking on a treadmillToday there is not one minute of my day that is not scheduled for a meeting. Non-stop. Eight hours. No fun.

But that’s the deal, today, so that’s that.

Fortunately, I’ll be working from home today, so I can walk around the house while I talk on the phone. I can’t do that at the office… at least, not on the scale I can do it here. I can’t walk around the halls, talking on the phone. I can reserve a conference room and then walk around it, while I’m listening. I could even project the meeting proceedings on the big screen, so I can watch what’s happening as I pace. But it’s not the same as being able to walk around my house.

So, at least there’s that.

And man, do I need that today. Yesterday I was stuck in an all-day workshop where we just sat… and sat… and sat. It started early, so I didn’t have time to exercise in the  morning before I went. But it ended earlier than my normal days typically do, so I was able to get to the pool and go for a swim. That was productive. And much needed. So, it’s all good.

I noticed that I was getting really tired towards the end of the day, and I was starting to get cranky and a little confrontational. But I managed to pull up and not blurt whatever came to mind. There was this module we were working through that just seemed like such B.S., and I wanted to say so. But I held my tongue and said nothing. Mission accomplished. I got out of it without wrecking my reputation, which is what I often do at those kinds of things, towards the end of the day when I’m tired. I blurt out crap that makes me look belligerent and confrontational, when I’m just tired.

And then all the work I put into cultivating rapport with others goes out the window. Fly away, little reputation. Fly away.

But yesterday, I held my tongue, and that was good. It was very, very good.

And today… Well, I’m looking at another day of non-stop paying attention to important stuff, and potentially being virtually motionless the whole time. I can’t let that happen. Not two days in a row. I just have to get creative and think outside the box. Find ways to keep myself moving. Heck, maybe I’ll even ride my exercise bike while I’m on a call — except that I get out of breath, and speaking up when I sound like I’m in the middle of an exercise routine is not the most professional thing to do.

So, scrap that. No riding the bike while I’m on a conference call.

I’ll just pace in my living room, walk around the downstairs. Do some movement… knee bends… stretching… anything to keep my body awake. ‘Cause if my body isn’t awake, neither is my brain.

And not-so-great things happen when my brain is foggy and asleep.

Onward.

Move movement

shotput athleteAll this immmobility is seriously giving me problems. My day job is very sedentary, and I don’t move nearly enough. And it’s been taking a toll on me physically.

If I’m going to last for the long run, I absolutely have to get moving more often. Even if it’s just adjusting my posture or moving my shoulders, I must move on a regular basis.

I’ve been doing a bit better with that, lately. I do my morning exercise bike ride, then I do some new movements, similar to martial arts and Qi Gong, that wake me up. In the past, I’ve done a lot of weight lifting, in combination with my bike riding, but the repetitive motions actually worked against me, and I developed back and shoulder problems as a result. Now, I’m doing more natural, more complex movements, to stir the energy and get my body woken up.

The way I see it, the real danger of brain injury is to the body. We can become so stressed, so preoccupied with what’s wrong with us, that we stop living our lives, we stop actively taking chances, and we stop learning. We can also stop moving. It’s so easy, these days, to “veg out” in front of the television and not do anything, or lie in bed looking at social media on your phone. Plus, the cocooning that’s often recommended after a concussion encourages immobility.

As it turns out, cocooning might not be the best thing for folks after a concussion, after all. We need to move more. And if you think about it, it makes sense. Concussion releases a lot of chemicals into the brain that need to be moved out. How does the body move things — by moving itself. Increased blood flow. Increased circulation. Increased breathing. Over-exertion isn’t a great idea — in fact, it may expose you to additional injuries, because your coordination may be impacted, and you may also not be able to gauge risk, or react to the environment as quickly.

You need to be careful. But you also need to move.

But I digress. This is really about me and fixing decades of sedentary life. I’ve allowed myself to get comfortable in non-movement, and now it’s almost like my body seems to have forgotten how to really move freely. In fact, that’s what happens. You get muscle amnesia, and your brain stops understanding how to move your whole body.

I need to do something about that. I look around at my peers, and I’m not impressed by how non-active they are. It’s pretty bad. They can’t move freely. They might play sports, go skiing, or run, but they don’t have fluidity of movement. They’re too busy looking the part of a respectable adult — and it amazes me, just how restricted your movements have to be, when you’re doing an impression of a respectable adult. Especially for women. Don’t run, don’t spring into action, don’t move in unexpected ways… No wonder our bodies run out of juice. We don’t use them.

Well, I for one am not going to end up like that. Yeah, I’ve got some pain going on. I messed up my shoulder again over the weekend. But I’m working through it. I’ve got my movements, I’m getting into motion. I’m also using my stand-up desks at home and at work, to get me off my a**. I’m going up and down stairs at work, instead of taking the elevator. Even if I’m carrying a heavy load — especially then.

And that’s good. It’s helping. It’s working itself out.

Onward.

When you find something that works… work it

railroad tracks leading into the distance with "start" painted on a tieI’ve been having a lot of trouble with my shoulder and back, over the past months. Dealing with all the snow, along with spending a lot of time being sedentary — alternating between slothfulness and frantic activity — has done a number on me.

I’ve been trying to get my shoulder to loosen up, so the pain in my arm eases up. I’ve got a lot of shooting pain, tingling, weakness, etc. in my left arm, and sometimes it also goes over to my right side.

And that’s no good.

I need to keep myself in good working order. Life goes on, and I absolutely need to be up for it all. I can’t afford to get waylaid, especially when we’re talking about just regular life. I know I’ve got some disabilities, and I know I need to make accommodations for myself, but once I do that, I need to stay in the game. I can’t use my intermittent issues as an excuse. No way, no how.

After months of wangling with this pain, I finally found something that really seems to work. I’d been doing stretches and trying to release the tightness in my muscles with movements designed to lengthen them. But that seemed to be doing the exact opposite.

So, I tried something that’s worked for me in the past — doing muscle releases by doing slight tightening and then relaxation. Apparently, a muscle contraction will actually loosen the muscle, where a stretch will shorten it. So, I did some exercises I’d read about (and used with some pretty amazing success) a few years ago.

And lo and behold, I’m finally getting some relief. It’s pretty amazing, actually. The sense of relaxation that comes from it, is a welcome change, compared to what I’ve been dealing with for months, now. It’s not always perfect, and I still have to refine my technique, but I’m learning how to move so that my body isn’t at war with itself.

That’s huge. Immense.

So, now it’s time to get moving, and get on with my day.

Onward.

Hardy for the long haul

bridge leading to mountians in the distanceOne of the benefits of getting older, is that I’m finding out what assumptions I made about my life and future prospects were correct, and which ones were wrong.

One of the things I’ve realized is that it’s not solely IQ-type intelligence, it’s not raw physical strength, it’s not talent, it’s not social connections, and it’s certainly not money alone, that keep a person in the game for the long haul.

It’s a combination of all of the above, which add up to a sum total of hardiness. Just being able to stick it out, no matter what happens, and persevere. It helps to be smart, and you definitely have to learn from your lessons, as you go along.

Live and learn, or you don’t live long.

… as they say.

You need some measure of physical strength, and you need a talent for something. You also need social connections, and you need enough money to get by. It’s the combination of all of the above, plus a certain sense of purpose, an ability to find meaning in your life, that keeps a person going, growing, lasting over the long haul.

And that’s what I’m going for, these days. The whole package. Sum total. And then some.

For years, I thought the secret was to have one of the above in over-abundance, and it would make up for shortfalls in the other areas.

If I had extra intelligence, it could make up for lack of money and social connections. If I were socially connected, it would make up for lack of money and physical strength. If I had talents of some kind, it would cover for my IQ shortcomings post-TBI.

But chasing after “highs” in certain areas actually made things much more difficult for me. Because I was burning out, and my focusing on one area only (making money), I was coming up short with my strength and social connections.  Concentrating only on building my physical strength also cost me extra money and took time away from building other talents.

A balanced approach is better, by far.

And that’s where I’m headed — especially in light of my TBI issues. Recovery is an additive thing; different parts of life combine and augment each other, and if I’m not getting the full range of exercise in my life, the whole deal suffers.

And that’s no good.

TBI recovery is a whole-person activity, and it continues through your whole life. I don’t think there’s every one time or place where we’re necessarily “recovered”. We can so easily slip back into thinking that our brains are still wired they way they used to be. Muscle memory, and all that. So, we have to keep on top of things and continue to adapt through the years.

But that’s a good thing. And if you think about it, that’s pretty much how life goes, no matter what your status or station in life. It’s just got to be more deliberate with us TBI survivors. See, we can have really excellent lives, even if our brain have been permanently changed. Life goes on. The human system continues to evolve.

Onward… Yes. ONward.