I’m done worrying about the whole neuropsych thing. Looking at my past earnings and taxes paid, I’ve been keeping steady since 2009, and I’m actually in a better situation now, than I was just a few years ago. That first couple of dips, right after my TBI, when my earnings fell through the floor, and my taxes actually exceeded my income (I had to hit my savings), got turned around pretty quickly. I’m not saying that I couldn’t have done it without help. But there seems to be an awfully strong connection between the time I’ve spent working with a neuropsych and prior to that. The money I’ve made has gone directly to helping others. So, it’s not like I’m sitting around getting rich. It would be nice if I could, but that’s not my goal. An awful lot of money has gone to everybody except me. I should probably change that pattern, I’m thinking…
The money’s just an outward indication of how well I’ve been doing, overall. I can’t even begin to tell you just how much better my thinking process is, just from talking with the right kind of professional with the right kind of mindset. Clearer thinking that doesn’t get dragged into my TBI-induced fog… that’s priceless.
It’s been great, having someone in my court, over the past 8 years, but at the same time, it hasn’t always been that great. There’s been a fair amount of aggravation and problematic stuff in my life that they haven’t helped with. I’ve taken care of those things myself — and never said a word to them.
I’ve looked to them more for professional insight on my situation, as well as my spouse’s. That’s been hugely helpful. But it hasn’t been without its pitfalls.
I know I’m not like the standard-issue patient. I’m independent, yes. I think for myself, yes. I keep my own counsel in may respects, and I don’t expect someone else to give me all the answers. I just look for others who have a specific set of domain expertise, so I can bounce ideas off them.
There aren’t many people like that in my world, on a regular basis.
So, having someone there with PhD level expertise and years of experience to round out their perspective, has really been very helpful.
I guess I’ll have to look somewhere else to find that kind of input. Connect with other people who can — and want to — discuss the role of the brain in cognition and behavior. It sounds obvious. Of course the brain is involved in cognition and behavior, but it’s the specific mechanics that really interest me. And I have yet to find others who share my fascination.
Maybe I just haven’t looked around enough. I’m sure that’s it. If I spent the same amount of time finding new connections that I usually spent with my NP (4+ hours, once a week), I’m sure I could expand my world. The problem is, those interactions would be unstructured, which is difficult for me to deal with. I need structure and a clear beginning and ending, to make the most of the time. I also don’t want to chat about this and that. I want to dig right into the “meat” of the subjects I’m addressing. I’m on a mission, and I need to interact with others who are as focused as I am.
So, what is my focus? Well, for years, it was both recovering from mild TBI and getting my life back on a track that I could be genuinely happy with. Maybe I’m an overachiever of sorts, but I can’t see why I should do any less than I’m capable of. I have a lot I want to accomplish, and that takes industrial-strength focus and determination. I’m hard-headed, that’s for sure, so that will carry me through a lot of situations. But I also need to be mindful of the ways that my brain tends to work against me.
Things like getting enough sleep. Eating right. Getting enough exercise.
And having some good support in place.
I still need to figure this one out. It’s all a work in progress. Maybe I find someone I can work with, maybe I don’t. I’ll give it a try today, and see what I can come up with. Make some calls. Do some research.
It’s all a process, anyway.