Pretty much done with Facebook

Adios… kind of… And thanks for everything.

Over the past few months, I’ve really scaled back my FB activity, the latest adjustment being removing it from my smartphone.

Since my smartphone is work-issued, and I’ll be giving it back in a few more weeks anyway, it seemed like the right thing to do, all across the board.

The only things that really appeal to me on FB are the factual things, or postings from Humans of New York. All the “opinionating” gets on my nerves, the contentious spirit of many posts bothers me, and contrary to some of my friends’ beliefs, I actually don’t need to know how many cats or dogs a local shelter has for adoption.

So, I’m doing without.

One other issue I’ve noticed with FB, is that it seems specially designed to get me worked up over things that have no consequence. People post provocative comments or images, and then I fall for the bait and get hooked into a cycle of outrage over things I have no control over, and which don’t even affect me personally.

What’s the point in that?

There is none, really.

What it costs me, however, is something I really don’t want to lose — and can’t afford to lose — Time. And Peace of Mind. Both of those things are in short supply. So, why would I actively participate in a forum that takes both of them away from me?

Makes no sense.

Goodbye Facebook.

One of the things that is making this easier for me to do, is improvements in my working memory, thanks to the dual n-back training and juggling I’ve been doing. I’m better able to attend for longer periods of time — I kept a ball in the air for 155 tosses today — up from my best of 135, a week ago. And I’m better able to remember things, so I can read more, digest more, appreciate more.

It’s kind of hard to enjoy reading, if you can’t remember what you read on the last page. It’s a real drag, actually.

But that problem has been clearing up, slowly but surely, as I’ve trained myself.

Facebook actually helped me with that, giving me small and mid-sized pieces of information to digest in a quick way that was entertaining for me — WAS entertaining for me, that is. Nowadays, I don’t appreciate a lot of what I see. I dislike it, actually.

Now I have other options — reading. Finding books at the library and reading them. This is fun for me — at last. For years, it was really distressing and discouraging, so I stopped. That was a huge personal loss to me, because I have always loved to read. Now that I can read again, it’s a whole new world. And I’m incredibly grateful for this new development in my life.

So, thanks for the help Facebook, but you won’t be seeing much of me in the future — except, of course, for the flurry of commotion when I announce that I’ve given notice at work.

Keeping calm in the storm

Keeping focused on the path ahead

So, things have been interesting at work. Just about everyone is all worked up in some sort of uproar, because the organization is changing, people are not certain where they fit, and some people are afraid of losing their jobs.

The company is closing one of its satellite offices, where one of my colleagues works, so we’re going to have to figure out what to do if they take the severance package instead of moving closer to the home office. Frankly, we’d all prefer if they took the package, because they’re not very good at their job and they cause more problems than they solve.

I’m in “solution mode”, these days — with myself and everyone around me. People are really worked up, and they tend to look to me for some semblance of stability and perspective. I have the perspective of having been through this — a lot — in the past. In the 10+ years I worked in financial services, it was like this.

All. The. Time.

So, I know what it’s like, I know how to handle myself on the emotional roller coaster, and I know what it feels like to be going through it for the first time, whereas some of my coworkers don’t. Everyone handles it in a different way, of course, with even the “newbies” handling some things more skillfully than more seasoned folks. In part, it may be because they have no point of reference and/or they aren’t far enough along in their lives to have much to lose from a reversal of fortune. Or they may just have a better handle on their emotions.

Anyway, it’s interesting. I’m riding the wave and just going for it, taking advantage of the opportunities that arise, and doing my best by them… and keeping a level head through it all. I’m reporting to someone new again — someone even younger and less experienced than my former boss (oh, irony). The difference with this person is, we have a strong friendship, as well as a good working relationship, and I have been a really staunch supporter of them, even before we were realigned in our reporting structure.

Where they are in the reporting structure does not change my relationship with them. It may change things for them — I’m sure it will, as they move more into management — but for me, the importance of treating them well and with respect, still stands regardless of where they are in the organization. The other nice thing about having a good working relationship with them, is that I can speak frankly and openly and help steer them away from some potentially tragic situations.

If they let me. They’ll need to trust me, first. I think they do, pretty much, but that can change in an instant. I am well aware of that. So, I need to tread lightly and continue to keep positive and always look for the up-side of things. That’s my new mission and goal — to keep positive and pro-active in the midst of confusion and chaos, so that I can not only keep my own wits about me, but also be of use to others as well.

So far, it has been working out well. I have had a number of meetings with folks, and the ones where I am positive and pro-active and decisive, are the ones that go very well. They’re actually exhausting, though. It’s surprisingly hard work to keep disciplined and focused… especially when so many people around you are getting depressed and down and defeated.

Ugh.

Well, I’m not responsible for their well-being or their state of mind. We’re all responsible for our own attitude and perspectives. And so often, it’s a matter of choice. I think sometimes it’s a question of character. But that can change. I know that in the past, I have really gotten beaten up by circumstances, because I let them get to me, and my head was not in the right place. Now, after years of suffering and pain, I’m at a place where I have more perspective. It’s taken a long time to get here, but it’s feeling like I’ve got it now.

At least for today, anyway.

Next week might be a totally different thing. But I’m guessing it won’t. Because now I’m in a job that is considerably more challenging for me, than it’s been for the past years. It’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve been able to function at this level without losing it. My TBI in 2004, and the couple of years leading up to my accident, really did a number on me with job stress and pressures. It has not been easy. But with a lot of hard work and help from folks who have given me good perspective (not to mention my neuropsych, who has been pretty much of a lifeline for me), I’ve finally come around.

Maybe I would have come around on my own… that’s possible. But I have to give credit and thanks where it’s due.

I’m feeling better today than yesterday, though I am wiped out and feel like I’ve been beaten with a stick all week. This transition work is extremely taxing for me, and I’m working harder than probably anybody knows. Even harder than I know… I’m just “in it” — taking things as they come, and see(k)ing solutions where problems exist. And it’s demanding a lot of me — probably more than has been demanded of me in several years.

I’m up for it, though. So long as I can get some good rest, and I can acclimate to this new life.

Onward…