About brokenbrilliant

I am a long-term multiple (mild) Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI or TBI) survivor who had falls and car accidents and sports-related injuries in 1972, 1973, 1982-83, 1995, and most lately 2004. I never received medical treatment for my injuries, some of which were sports injuries (and you have to get back in the game!), but I have been living very successfully with cognitive/behavioral (social, emotional, functional) symptoms and complications for 35 of my 43 years. I’ve done it so well, in fact, that virtually nobody knows that I sustained that injury at age 8… and the folks who do know, haven’t fully realized just how it’s impacted my life. It has impacted my life, however. In serious and debilitating ways. I’m coming out from behind the shields I’ve put up, in hopes of successfully addressing my own (invisible) challenges and helping others to see that sustaining a TBI is not the end of the world, and they can, in fact, live happy, fulfilled, productive lives in spite of it all.

Sifting through the possibilities

I am bone-tired, right now. I gave notice at my current job, this morning, much to the dismay of my coworkers and manager. It was actually quite touching. I will miss them, in many ways.

I realize that now, which is good. It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have hated the guts of everyone you’ve worked with for 40 hours/week over the past year and a month and a day (which is what today is — a year, a month, and a day, since I started).

Nice symmetry, right?

Still, it’s been exhausting.

And I have another 3-1/2 weeks to go. My major projects are wrapping up, and I’m helping to get some other projects rolling while I’m still around. I’m also going to put the finishing touches on my Most Major project, get it all queued up, and then hand off the plan to folks to follow through.

I’ll need to rest. Get plenty of good sleep in the coming weeks. Study up on the new technologies I’ll be using, find the resources I need, and also get a head start on thinking through some of the undertakings that lie ahead of me.

The beauty part is, the new kind of work I’m going to be doing has a strong learning and research aspect to it. Which is what I love to do, and what I’ve been wanting to transition into, for quite some time. And the truly promising thing about this is that, as a member of a company that is an industry leader, I’ve got immediate credibility in the eyes of others — kind of like having a degree from Harvard or Stanford or MIT or CalTech.

I finally get to do what I’ve wanted to do, all along. And I get paid a heckuva lot more than a research scientist, while doing it.


Anyway… yeah… rest.

I spent most of the past weekend, reading The Ghost In My Brain, and it’s given me a lot to think about. Just a hugely helpful book for me, where I saw many reflections of my own experiences.

It’s a lot to take in… and I’m happy to be here.

Gist reasoning experiment – What’s going on here in this scene?

When I was first tested on my “gist reasoning”, I did extremely poorly.

I didn’t learn till later, that I was supposed to answer a certain way. This next exercise is similar to the test I failed badly, the first time I took it.

Look at this picture – what’s happening? Choose below:

What's happening here?

What’s happening here?

  1. They are having tea
  2. They are in a stage play
  3. Older woman is ignoring the girl in the pink shirt
  4. Three people are sitting, one person is standing
  5. There are a lot of blue items – shirts, jeans, book, sofa, seat cushion
  6. The flowers on the table in the background almost match the youngest woman’s shirt
  7. The girl with the neck collar is getting all the attention
  8. The family is playing out an unhealthy dynamic that it always does, and it’s bothering a number of people here

Each choice is technically correct.

Which one summarizes what’s going on, at a high level?

Or do you have another perspective?

Write it down, if you have trouble figuring out “big picture” ideas on a regular basis, and check in with someone you know who does a better job of it, than you.

See what they have to say about your interpretation.

HERE are the Gist Reasoning Exercises

Gist reasoning is all about picking which pieces of information matter, and which don’t.

Gist reasoning strength is a better indicator of how badly someone has been impacted by TBI, than just about any other measure. Intelligence tests and memory tests don’t do it. It’s how we put it all together, that shows how well — or poorly — we do.

I have created some Gist Reasoning Exercises – a Gist Template – for TBI recovery and Some Gist Reasoning exercises to “Bounce Out” Items that Don’t Belong

Like I’ve said, posting materials online for people to use and improve is NOT rocket science. You just have to put something out there. But this kind of instruction seems to be tied up with folks who have certain professional credentials or special training.* For me, as a person who has been profoundly impacted by multiple undiagnosed and unaddressed TBIs, it makes my heart ache to think of how many others like me are out there not getting the help they (and their families) desperately need, and I cannot just stand by without doing something about it.

So, I’m building tools, based on gist reasoning information I am finding online. Below are links to some scenarios and collections of terms — some of the items matter to the Scenario, some of them don’t. Follow the instructions for each Scenario.

You can either print out the pages, or you can just write it all down — writing it out by hand is good, because it exercises your brain in helpful ways. You may want to show it to someone who has better daily functioning skills than you, to see if you’re on track.*

Check back again in the top menu and also on the Scenarios page for added tools and exercises. Some of them may seem quite rudimentary, but it is what you make of it. You can really “play” with some of them! So, have fun with it.

Just so we’re clear, I have to say the following, so I don’t get in trouble for claiming to fix brain-type things without proper credentials… I don’t have the money to defend against a lawsuit.

*Please note: These exercises are for “entertainment” purposes only, and no guarantee is made about their ability to improve your gist reasoning abilities. I am not a formally trained educational instruction designer. I have conducted trainings for many people in professional settings, as well as taught individuals how to use software. But I’m not formally trained or certified in this kind of work. Like many things in my life, this is an experiment intended to help people like me who have been left behind or overlooked by the established rehab industry.

Augh! Where are the gist reasoning training exercises?

“Getting the Gist” means narrowing down a lot of different details to what is most important, and understand it. If you can restate the gist in your own words and have it mean the same thing as the original, you’re golden. Print out this page to practice your gist reasoning.

Okay, so “we” now know that gist reasoning is a more accurate indicator of how well folks with TBI / concussion can live their lives, than other sorts of testing, like memory and IQ.

Those of us who have been working through TBI issues, lo these many years, have known it a lot longer… A hearty Welcome to those of you in the scientific / academic community who are just now catching up.

And published research also now shows that gist reasoning can be strengthened with exercises.

However, there seems to be a dearth of actual exercises you can do online. That’s odd. Because:

A) Folks with long-term TBI issues can be profoundly marginalized from the mainstream, and the Internet is their one reliable connection to the rest of the world.

B) Online training is incredibly easy to put on the web. It may be difficult to design, but once you’ve got it designed, publishing it is a relative breeze. There are many, many people who do far more complicated things on a regular basis. Finding decent developers is not rocket science.

C) You’d think that everyone in the country would be falling over themselves, getting gist reasoning training online, because helping people with TBI better handle their lives can translate to improved daily functioning, which can translate to higher employment rates, which can translate to more tax revenue and lower needs for social services.

That’s what comes to my mind, anyway.

And yet, looking around online (granted, I only spent a few hours between yesterday and today, but I’m a skilled searcher, and if I can’t find it… well, it’s really hard to find), I’m not seeing any gist reasoning training readily available, other than some that are intended to teach kids how to read, think, and understand.

There doesn’t seem to be much developed for adults, especially those recovering from brain injury.

I did find a Gist Template for kids, which I have modified for TBI-surviving adults and posted on my site here: https://brokenbrilliant.wordpress.com/brain-injury-recovery-tools/gist-template-for-tbi-recovery/ You can print it out and use it to practice your gist reasoning. It’s very simple, but I’m going to try it myself and see if I notice a difference.

Sidebar: You know, I realize now that a lot of what I’ve been doing with my neuropsych over the past 7 years, is working on my gist reasoning. We spend a lot of time with me talking about my days, my experiences, my future plans, and then summarizing them at the end. At times, it seems so tiresome, to have them repeating back to me what I think I just said, but now I understand the method to that madness.

And I’m glad I did not just get up and walk out on them, like I wanted to do, so many times.

I’m glad I just went with it.  Because it works. My deficits that were found, 7 years ago, are still pretty much there without change. However, my ability to live my life fully as well as engage with things around me and also have a higher quality of life than ever before, has dramatically increased. Phenomenally, in fact.

So, being all incensed about the lack of online tools for TBI recovery, I’ve started adding gist reasoning tools to this site. I’ve found some really intriguing ideas, that I think can be replicated… and possibly improved. And there appears to be a massive gap in online gist reasoning training, specifically for TBI survivors. Plus, a lot of this is not rocket science and it can be replicated — even improved upon — quite easily.

Of course, in the coming months and years, I’m sure there will be a flurry of products to help people with this stuff… In fact, there already are tools out there, like Lumosity and BrainHQ. But what about those of us who don’t have all sorts of money to drop… or who have difficulties navigating online payments… or who don’t have (or want to have) Flash on our browsers? Or who just want a “quick hit” of a test to help us sharpen up a bit?

A lot of us are getting left behind – and for no good reason, other than that people either aren’t aware, or they haven’t bothered to try and fix the situation.

But never mind that.  I’m going to do something about it, rather than just bitch and moan.

So, in summary (here’s where I work on my own gist reasoning):

  • I’m really encouraged by the recent research that shows that the degree of TBI recovery is demonstrated by a person’s “gist reasoning” ability — the ability to “get” the point of a mish-mash of details from situations. I’m also very excited by the fact that gist training can — and will — help us to recover.
  • I’m frustrated by the lack of online information about gist reasoning, along with exercises to strengthen it. I’ve searched… and I have not found much.
  • I don’t understand why there aren’t more tools online — especially for TBI survivors, whose main contact with the world may be their computer and Internet connection. Online publishing is actually quite simple, and it could be a great way to alleviate a lot of suffering.
  • Never mind what others are doing/not doing. I’m going to put together my own tools and post them here.
  • This is my first contribution towards fixing a situation that exasperates me: A Gist Template for TBI Recovery

More to come.


Anesthesiologist trashes sedated patient — and it ends up costing her


Don’t be an ass. Just don’t.

Originally posted on FLXHUB:

Anesthesiologist trashes sedated patient — and it ends up costing her
Sitting in his surgical gown inside a large medical suite in Reston, Va., a Vienna man prepared for his colonoscopy by pressing record on his smartphone, to capture the instructions his doctor would give him after the procedure.
But as soon as he pressed play on his way home, he was shocked out of his anesthesia-induced stupor: He found that he had recorded the entire examination and that the surgical team had mocked and insulted him as soon as he drifted off to sleep.
In addition to their vicious commentary, the doctors discussed avoiding the man after the colonoscopy, instructing an assistant to lie to him, and then placed a false diagnosis on his chart.
“After five minutes of talking to you in pre-op,” the anesthesiologist told the sedated patient, “I wanted to punch you in the face and…

View original 1,171 more words

So, how can I incorporate this finding about gist reasoning in my own life?

Get it?

So, apparently, Gist Reasoning [is] Indicative of Daily Function in Traumatic Brain Injury. Check it out (bold emphasis is mine):

People with traumatic brain injury may have more difficulty with gist reasoning compared to traditional cognitive tests. This cognitive assessment may in turn be a clearer indicator of a person’s ability to succeed at a job or at home after injury.

A cognitive assessment developed by the Center for BrainHealth at the University of Texas, Dallas evaluates the number of gist-based ideas participants are able to extract from several complex texts. The test provides a more clear assessment of cognitive abilities for patients that are considered “normal” following traditional cognitive testing.

The study, published in the Journal of Clinical and Experimental Neuropsychology, included 70 adults aged 25 through 55, 30 of which had traumatic brain injury one year or longer prior to the study. The subjects went through a series of standard cognitive tests to assess memory, inhibition, and switching.

The group had similar IQ, reading comprehension, and speed of processing scores, however nearly 70% of the TBI subjects scored lower on gist reasoning than controls.  These decreased gist-reasoning scores correlated with self-reported difficulties at work and home. Additionally, cognitive tests alone predicted daily function with 45% accuracy, while the addition of gist-reasoning scores boosted accuracy to 58%.

The impairment of gist reasoning could reflect a loss of flexible and innovative thinking in patients with traumatic brain injury. 

Gist reasoning is the ability to “get the point” of something. It’s being able to extract the unimportant details from a narrative and figure out the salient / important / significant details… and the “get the gist” of the story.  It’s being able to look at a picture and tell what’s really going on — or what other people think is going on, so you can discuss with them.

Gist reasoning is turning out to be a better indicator of impairment after TBI / concussion, which is encouraging to me, because showing up for neuropsychological testing and being told, “Hey, you’re really smart in a lot of ways!” is hugely deflating when you’re struggling with day-to-day issues. Knowing you’re smart just rubs it in, and it makes you feel even more lame and damaged. But being able to measure gist reasoning and see that there’s significant impairment in that… now that’s something to sit up and pay attention to.

After reading about the Center for Brain Health’s published research on improving TBI recovery with certain types of brain training, I’m wondering how I can incorporate that into my own life and ongoing recovery.

My own test results, with two passes divided by 4-5 years of active rehab work, show that I’m way smart in some areas, but I struggle in a few respects. And in 5 of 6 areas of deficit, my deficits have not changed significantly. I guess that’s where Muriel Lezak would say I have not recovered.

On the other hand, the area where I have changed, is how well I’m living my life. And that’s what really matters to me. That, to me, is what recovery is all about, not reversing deficits which would probably change over the course of my life, anyway(!)

I can still tell I’m slower than before. I can still tell I struggle with many things, including fatigue and irritability and fogginess. But these things aren’t wrecking me, the way they used to.

I still need to work at things on a daily basis. And I need help, here and there — although I’ve learned how to behave in a way that doesn’t look like I’m disabled and in need of assistance. I still struggle with things that “should” be easy for me, but haven’t gotten that way — if anything, some of them have gotten harder. Getting going on things can be a huge challenge, when I’m not motivated. And stopping things that I need to stop, to do other things I need to do (like stopping surfing the web in the morning so I can get to work on time), is as hard as ever — maybe harder. My memory is still Swiss-cheesey — especially when I’m tired. And although my temper has calmed down immensely in the past 7 years, I still have my moments, when I just Go Off the rails. Likewise with emotions like sadness and  despair.  I generally keep those in check, because I can go down a rabbit hole that is terribly difficult to pull out of.

I think those times when I am less effective, are when I am overwhelmed by everything that seems important. And I think — from just a cursory reading of literature — that has to do with my “gist reasoning”, or my ability to pick out the salient / important / significant details from a situation and focus on them.

I’ve been doing a bunch of online research about the SMART training that the Center for Brain Health does, and I found that they’ve actually patented it (thank you Google patent search). If this is indeed intellectual property, and it’s controlled by them, then it’s more valuable to them in terms of money and quality control, than it is to the general populace.

And telling everyone Woo Hoo! You Can Recover From TBI With Our System! … only to say, “Oh yeah, it’s proprietary… but you can visit us and get training here — or at another one of our approved affiliates”… well, now I’m less elated.

Yes, it’s hugely encouraging and motivating to see their research that it’s possible. The thing is, it’s equally out of reach. I am not within easy striking distance of Dallas, TX, nor do I have the time and the money to take 8 weeks to retrain myself on the Strategic Memory and Reasoning Training© (SMART©) program.

Oh, well.

Not that this is going to stop me trying to employ their techniques, however. I’m crafty that way, and because I’ve always been on the fringes of the medical/rehab establishment (first because of lack of information in the world I grew up in, and later due to lack of money and resources and my diminished ability to communicate with healthcare providers, thanks to a slew of unaddressed issues)… I’ve had to take a lot of my recovery into my own hands.

Of course, it helps to have access to a competent neuropsychologist to consult with on a weekly basis, but even they are a bit flabbergasted at my recovery. They say they’ve “never seen anything like it.” Woot.

So, yeah. I think I’ve got an approach that works for me – and it may work for others.

I’m going to be doing more research over the coming week and see if I can’t come up with some practice exercises for myself and others to use to improve gist reasoning. I mean, how hard can it be? It seems really fundamental to me — it’s just been hidden behind all the Wizard Of Oz machinery of the medical establishment. Hidden in plain view, all this time.

How can I improve my gist reasoning? How can I strengthen my ability to screen out what doesn’t matter, in favor of what does — and move forward?

Figuring this out — I believe — will help me prioritize my activities better, help me determine the things that matter and the things that don’t, and help me stop wasting so much time on chasing distractions for the sake of distraction. I have a handful of projects I need to finish, and I’m hoping this will help me do just that.

This is going to be interesting.